A
female
age
41-50,
*elladonna123
writes:My husband and I have a great sex life, however in the 4 years that I've known we've only had anal intercourse, successfully, twice. I consider myself sexually adventurous, but I am absolutely terrified about this for 2 reasons. M husband is VERY well endowed, long AND thick, and my rectum is rather small. I am small in structure. Does this have anything to do with it? We had anal intercourse half an hour ago and it was dreadfully painfull with some blood. I cried. How many times must we do it for my rectum to stretch so it doesn't hurt so much? I am even jealous of the porn stars! How do they do it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): I agree, a drink or two, some HOT foreplay, an orgasm (reserve his cock for your ass!) is a must. Get him to get you all worked up, and have one great orgasm and then proceed to anal. Make sure he's HARD as iron, and slick with lube. Plenty of finger play before hand is ideal.
Note- I've found sex toys up the bum to be quite a turn off for most women. There's a distinct difference between a plastic toy and a hot fleshy penis. Don't assume that sex toys will turn you on in back...
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female
reader, Tanasha Domin  +, writes (8 August 2009):
use plenty enough lube when you do this, i have tried it both ways. I at first had the psychological issue of its gross and it is going to hurt like crazy. My fiance has been very patient with me. He told me not to worry about it, that we just need to take our time. Body massages do well to relax the body and breathing deeply helps to clear the mind. Breathing helps get the bad thoughts out of your head and it made it to where I wasnt so nervous. It isnt for everyone, so go at your own pace. I advise not to be too rough, there will be alot of pain and tearing in that case. Go slow, take it easy and gentle, if it is still too much, stop and try again at a later time if you want, like I did.
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female
reader, Tanasha Domin +, writes (8 August 2009):
use plenty enough lube when you do this, i have tried it both ways. I at first had the psychological issue of its gross and it is going to hurt like crazy. My fiance has been very patient with me. He told me not to worry about it, that we just need to take our time. Body massages do well to relax the body and breathing deeply helps to clear the mind. Breathing helps get the bad thoughts out of your head and it made it to where I wasnt so nervous. It isnt for everyone, so go at your own pace. I advise not to be too rough, there will be alot of pain and tearing in that case. Go slow, take it easy and gentle, if it is still too much, stop and try again at a later time if you want, like I did.
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male
reader, Intrigued40s +, writes (21 December 2008):
The question would be how much is "too much" We have being told all bodies are diferent and same go for all anuses. Some women may find anal sex pleasurable because ther anus is more flexible plus the influence of the psycological factor. What you think of anal sex determines how much pleasure you can get. If you think is inmoral you are going to have it tighter that someone who think she wants to try something nasty. I would say you can get help by watching movies were well endowed men do it with smal frame women.
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A
female
reader, sadie30  +, writes (7 August 2008):
hi,
please dont be put of with your bad experinces with anal sex, it can be very enjoyable and you dont have to be a pron star, YOu just have to make sure you are relaxed and use plenty of lub, make sure that he maybe massages that area first with his fingers before trying. I have a partner who is also well endowed and it is something we do tine from time, he was my first doing it that way and it was me who wanted to try it out. so dont be ashmed of it. Just try again when the both of you are in the mood to, the best postion is for you both to be spooning, then that way you can keep control and stop him getting to excited. xx hope this helps xx
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female
reader, belladonna123 +, writes (7 August 2008):
belladonna123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey. To all those who offered advice. Thanks. Fortunately I have a wonderful,understanding husband and the anal sex was as much my idea as his. I discussed my concers about getting injured and of course he is very understanding, besides there are TONS of other, spicy things to do! Thanks again y'all!
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female
reader, Sweet as Honey +, writes (5 August 2008):
 It's not normal to stick it where the sun don't shine. There are so many wonderful sex positions you can be experimenting with and it'll always be adventurous, just not penetrative anal sex.
Why anyone would want to excavate through the back door is beyond me.
A long time ago, an ex of mine forced me a few times, and without any lubrication may I add, he was well endowed too, it left me mentally scarred, so whenever I hear of people wanting and consenting to anal sex, it just makes my skin crawl.
You were born with a vagina, use it for sexual intercourse and giving birth, and your anus is for dumping your dinner, not for feeding it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): I have seen quite a few anal tears while working in the emergency room and people ending up with anal fissures. This was mostly in gay couples. But for them i can somehow understand. But if you are hetero and there is an opening called the vagina, I would have to ask WHY?
And with older porn stars... everything drops out after a while. Prolapse is the word. Bladder prolapse. Uterine prolapse. Rectal prolapse. But we dont see that on porn movies. Somehow cant picture people masturbating to that!
Take care.
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male
reader, pyan  +, writes (5 August 2008):
Hi
we are no experts on this subject and are only new ourselves to it anal (4 years) it took my wife a long time to try it, but she is open to it now and its become a think we do at certain time.
we found the wine good and be very turned 'on' and relaxed. even that the first few time we had to take it slow. and you say when is enough.
is it you who likes it or your husband, as i know it was me who wanted it. As for the porn movies i saw one being made and they insert lots of lub before and during. Let us know how you go or get in touch if you want to know more
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male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Hi there,
if he is very well endowed , chances are its going to hurt all the time.
I am left wondering why you want to do it in the first place? Being adventurous in bed doesnt mean you have to have anal sex. I am just a little suspicious of men who insist on anal sex, what on earth is wrong with the vagina I say!! More vagina less bum!! that's my motto,well its not, but it might have to be with all the guys wanting to stick it there these days.
He can't even use the excuse that its a tighter fit, I mean if he is well endowed how flippin tight does he want it?
The anal sex you see in porn movies is only because they want to pander to the tastes of the buying public , who for the most part arent adventurous couples, but single men who sit at home jerkin off while frothing at the mouth.
I'm not trying to say your husband is wrong or anything just I think you can do other things which are adventurous without him sticking his willy where it don't belong. Have fun , be adventurous but protect your bum darl, do some research if he is well endowed as he can do you an injury down there ( look up anal fissure - that should be enough to put you off - holy cow!)
Sorry for putting a damper on things, good luck anyhoo.
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (5 August 2008):
 I tried unsuccessfully with my first husband for years and he was actually quite small. I finally managed to do it with a man who was built like your husband, and I too am small, my first instinct was no way uh uh you aint putting that in there, but we perservered and I found the best way was half a bottle of wine first, some lubricant and me on top so I could control the depth and speed etc. Cant say I ever truly enjoyed it but it didnt hurt that way.
As for stretching yourself the thing that always comes to my mind when thinking of anal sex is something a nurse told me, too much anal sex and when you are older you'll crap yourself when you cough!!
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