A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, to keep it short and simple i've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half.. when discussing relationships with my friend the other day she said that orgasms were needed to have a healthy sex life and considering i've never ever ever ever ever ever ever had one.. i was wondering whether she was right or not.i enjoy sex because i like his pleasure and we do have foreplay, i just seem impossible to be able to have an orgasm or even get close.. it's not like i even concentrate on it much, but now i'm worrying that i'm going to become bored of sleeping with him and despite not really thinking much of it the other day .. i'm worried now
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foreplay, orgasm, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): It's not that important if you've never had one and still enjoy sex. It becomes important though once you've had one because it's the climax of sexual activity.
I mean for us guys the orgasm is the goal, both for us and giving one to our partners. Although there are a lot of guys that don't see it that way, the fools.
Experiment on your own, do what the other aunts suggest and find out what makes you tick and teach your boyfriend that technique. Clitoral stimulation, g-spot stimulation and don't worry about not orgasming during penetration. Most women don't orgasm that way.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Nah. Its not that important. Sex and intimacy is impportant, and sometimes we just get that feeling and we gotta have it. But, for women, an orgasm isn't all there is to it. Well aside from the women who get it all the time I can guess they'd find it hard to go without. But you enjoy sex without the orgasm. I do too. There's a lot more to sex than just an orgasm. If anything, an orgasm is good for your body and your self esteem, to make YOU feel good. If you can't get an orgasm go out for a run instead and then go to a spa, you will be doing something even better for your body and health that way.
Google how to reach an orgasm though, I am sure you can get there with time and practice. You are just young. It takes some time to understand how to work your own buttons.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Well, the thing is, the key to you having an orgasm is to work on it - ALONE. Sex is about the closeness, the tenderness, and the togetherness even more than the orgasm.
However, the orgasm is AWESOME, AMAZING, and yes, it'll keep the spice and adventure and desire for you in the long run.
But you have to learn how your body works. It's all about time to yourself without worrying about his timetable or pleasuring him. When you're by yourself, you can explore what feels fantastic, and when you figure out the mystery of your orgasm, then you can teach HIM how to please you.
Most women do not have orgasm through intercourse, so don't beat yourself up. Some women need extra stimulation, like with a vibrator/massager. When you have your first orgasm, it will totally blow your mind.
Good luck!
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