A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts and uncles :)I'll start with a bit of back story first.My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years now and we believe we are in a strong relationship. We've been through a lot what with family death and serious fall outs between family, so all in all we don't think much else can be thrown at us. Now in all the time I have been with my bf I've know his friends and his brother(who is older) now up until recently all of his brothers friends stopped bothering with his brother as he ignored them(got a bit high and mighty) so anyway over the last year my bf and I ended up getting closer to his brothers old friends and one in particular. We went to more parties and spent a lot of time together and this one guy started to get a little bit flirty(harmless fun) he suggested that he found me attractive but I thought he was being nice.Then at a recent party it came out that this guy has taken part in threesomes and orgys with his ex and said he would do it again as he had so much fun. My boyfriend also mentioned how we had talked about it but we just wanted to find someone.Roll forward two months and now this guy is visiting a lot asking where I am when I'm not around and flirting more, then two days ago while I was out the room my boyfriend this guy and his mate started talking about threesomes again. To the point where this guy said if we wanted to he was up for it. Later that night after he had gone my bf had a text telling him that this guy was serious and if we wanted to he would be happy to help.So I said yes to my bf we haven't told the guy yet as he was round again yesterday but there were kids about. Is it a good idea? He has had this before with his mate and they are still normal with each other. Also as I'll probably end up going for it, what is acceptable and what isn't? There is a lot of info on ffm threesomes but not mmf I'm going away next week for a month should we wait till after I get back before doing something, just let him know its a yes then arrange it for when we are home? Also when should we text him back? We are going to watch his band practice today as we miss there first gig should we text him before we go or after we are back? Sorry there are so many questions but there is hardly any info on mmf on google.Thanks for taking the time to read :)
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flirt, his ex, text, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 July 2013):
 Letting other people into my marital bed broke up my last marriage. I no longer choose to share even though I am a bisexual woman. I have opted to forsake ALL OTHERS in lieu of holding my marriage together.
I do know of a few married couples that are in the swinger lifestyle and their marriages survive but there is NO jealousy and it's more likely that a marriage will break over this.
Opening your bed to others will not improve or fix anything broken... just makes it worse to be honest.
FWIW my last husband was fine with open marriage till I was the one adding a "boy toy" to the mix. He could not cope.
Think long and hard about if you are even remotely willing to lose this boyfriend... if so proceed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's something that we have both spoke about and I'm the one that suggested a mff and he said he would like to try a mmf.I haven't really been against the idea but I'm quite nervous exposing my self to someone I know, it's almost like the first time I slept with my bf. We planned to take thing quite slow, initially exchange photos and messages then maybe meet up a few times to chat about it. The way if at any point someone doesn't like what's going on we can pull out, this has been agreed by all of us. Thanks for all your advise but I guess I would like a bit more info on the whole mmf situation there are hundred of site that tell you, you shouldn't do it and about ffm but nothing on if you are going to go ahead with it, or advice on how to get the ball rolling so we all feel comftable with each other.Thanks again for your answers :)
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A
female
reader, EventHorizon  +, writes (22 July 2013):
 No idea, I have never had a threesome. I cannot imagine it is a good idea. Are you doing it just for your boyfriend? Don't be pressured into something you are not happy with, or just to please him. You seem quite young, have some self respect and tell them both to bugger off. If he was decent he would not ask you to do it in the first place.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 July 2013):
While it makes sense to read some of the "threesomes gone wrong" stories to get an idea of the problems you may face, you have to remember that dear cupid is for people to ask for advice, not brag about their threesomes. If things go well then they won't come here.
A threesome can be great, but if either partner requires convincing, it's almost certainly a bad idea.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (21 July 2013):
 " my boyfriend and i have been together for over five years now and we believe we have a strong relationship". if you want to keep it a strong relationship you will not do it. here to help has posted several examples of threesome destroying relationships.
do it " bringing in a third person" will change the dynamics of your relationship. it will take away the trust between you two. it will take away the protection you feel from your boyfriend. it may cause emotional bond with the third person. it may cause emotional hurt. you stand a good chance of breaking up.
i have to ask you is it worth just one of these problems i have listed??? are you happy together right now, why take a chance. i hope this helps, and you choose wisely.
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