A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im a 25 year old virgin who has recently started seeing a guy. he is coming to my town on saturday night and has asked me to stay in a hotel with him. can i read into this as him expecting sex? ive been seeing him for a month, i trust him but being a virgin am still anxious about approaching sex. also do readers think that a month is too soon into a relationship to start having sex? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): Yesit isMy wife was a virgin for me and I am eternally grateful. It was vital for our marriage.She had boyfriends , but she always told them she was saving herself for her future husband. Some of them dumped her because of her beliefs. But she stuck to her guns. Now , how glad I am that she did. Early in our relationship , she laid out the grounds rules for me , that was holding hands , up to base one etc. but no more. She would have been offended if I had pressurised her for sex. I respected this fully as I figured that this was the same treatment that her exes got. Good!I would tell him you can meet him at the hotel but that sex is not on the agenda , that youre not that type of girl. If he drops you for this then all well and good , he is not worthy of you. You can still have fun without sex. good luck!
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 I think that you should wait. If value my virginity really high, and I'm not just going to give it up. I would never give it up in some seedy hotel, in some bed that's not my own. I think that you deserve to wait until you can truly be intimate. It's supposed to be better when it's with someone you love...
DV1
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 I agree exactly with what Penta said.
However, I would also mention that as long or short as 1 month might be, I do think that 25 years and no sex is going to make it even more difficult for you as time goes on. Speaking from a male perspective, I am always suspious of women that hold on to their virginity in their late twenties and beyond. One of my lovers lost her virginity to me on the third date in three weeks. She was over 30, and just had never had a boyfriend that liked her enough, so she took the chance to finally be with someone. It was a good relationship and lasted for almost a year. BUT, if it wasn't for the fact she was able to explain her virginity to me in that way, I might not have wanted to date her. I have turned down other similiar aged virgins (for some reason I attract a lot of them) becuase I did not trust in their motives. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be.
Take it at your own pace, and be realistic about all your expectations. and Be Safe.
-FBK
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): Try not to have sex with him in that hotel. He might try to be intimate with you but suggest that you just stay at home- go out to dinner or whatever but say good bye to him when he is at the hotel.If he gets upset or says he doesnt want to be with you- then move on you deserve better- have you told him that you are a virgin? He will respect your decision. I was told somewhere that one should wait at least 6 months for sex- AT A MINIMUM to see if someone actually cares about you more than your body- for most people that can be up to if not over a year to realy tell if they love you back or not. If you are looking for love- hold out longer than a month deffinately- if he really does care he will wait eternity till you are ready. This is a very special time- dont blow it on impulsion. Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (16 May 2007):
 It depends on why you've saved your virginity so far. If it's simply because you haven't had the opportunity until now, then one month isn't too soon. Just go for it.
If you've saved it because you're waiting for that special person, then I think one month is definately too soon. You should make sure he's the one before you jump into anything, and that takes more time. And if he's the one, he won't mind waiting.
And yes, if he's asked you to stay in a hotel with him, then he's expecting sex. If you're not comfortable with that, you should suggest separate rooms.
Do what feels right in your heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): hey doll,
guys love the chase. i think a month is wayy too short. if you give it to him right away... he will think you're easy. make him wait longer. try to hold out as long as you can & if he pressures you in anyway than you'll know he just wants sex. be sure that you're ready & will not regret it when you do want to give it up. there is nothing wrong with being 25 & still a virgin : ) there is no need to rush.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): Especially since you are a virgin I think a month is wayy to soon to give yourself to someone because it's a once in a lifetime experience and you wanna share that with someone special just kinda follow him and see what's he about first before you do that.
FYI: Take it from someone who knows I had lost my virginity at 18 and am 21 now and I regret the fact that I gave it away to this guy I barely knew.
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A
female
reader, goinnorth1550198 +, writes (16 May 2007):
If he expects sex without consulting you as to whether it's okay, then maybe he's actually looking out for himself more than you. But if you talk about it and feel good about it, then you are the only judge of whether you are ready. Personally, I would never be ready after a month, but many people would be.
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A
female
reader, missprinsess2u +, writes (16 May 2007):
 I agree respect yourself until you find the one your truly in love with dosent really matter how long youve known this guy its just your 25 and youve waited this long do you think this guy is worth you 25 year wait?
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A
female
reader, m698778 +, writes (16 May 2007):
losing your virginity could be very important and serious to you. now, you just don't want to lose your virginity to some guy and or you just don't want to be a virgin anymore. on your posting you seemed a bit concerned about this. think this through okay??
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 IMO I think you should make sure you REALLY do trust him and that he's the one you want to lose your virginity to.
I'm still a virgin and waiting for that special woman.
Losing your virginity should be special and not something you regret.
Good Luck! =]
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (15 May 2007):
 It all depends on your perceptions and morals. As a virgin I would be especially careful about giving yourself after a month. Although most people regret their first time it seems that after waiting so long that you deserve a great first time. If he's the love of your life he's not going anywhere and there's plenty of time for sex.
CD
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