A
female
age
41-50,
*ardenLover
writes:I've been in a relationship for almost 6 years and I've never been able to talk to him. He "listens" which means not saying anything then maybe I get some cliche statements. I crave connection to him. We can do things, and accomplish a lot around my home. I've taken up his hobbies and him some of mine, but still no connection. It is the old adage, I love him, but I'm not in love with him. He is the worst communicator I have ever met and it frustrates me so bad. Most of my friends have said they don't really care for him, except they see the high level of affection he shows for me. He is a hard worker and does a lot for me, including flowers weekly and many chores around the house. On the other hand, he is an alcoholic and weed addict. I know it's time to leave, but now I find all these probably irrational thoughts running through my mind. Such as, I'm 30 and everyone at the club is early 20's, so where will I find someone even if I just want to have sex? I'm not looking for a replacement right away, but I want to know there is hope and I'm feeling like there is none. Is 30 too old to be single or clubbing and should I regret wasting half my 20's on a relationship I knew wasn't working from the start? Where am I supposed to meet someone? I don't want to find another one to simply cling to and waste more years not being happy.
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female
reader, Sooty70  +, writes (6 September 2011):
I met my now husband when I was 33. Although I was starting to feel a bit desperate especially as I had just ended a previous 7 year relationship and thought I would be single forever because of that.
I met my husband through the personal ads in the paper (this was pre internet dating sites).
I dont think 30 is too old to start looking for another relationship. Relationships can start at any age. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011): Oh please, I am 31 and I go clubbing all the time and it's fine. 40 I might be like tone it down. but 30 is a baby.
go enjoy, trust me...
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 30 is not too old for dating, it may be perhaps a bit old for clubbing, at least as your main or only social scene, and is surely too old to cling nails and teeth to some alcoholic and weed addict for the sake of his diy skills .
You must be terribly fond of home improvement for even having doubts about the situation...
I would not be that worried about not being in your prime for the club scene, apparently there you get very few Mr. Right there and many Mr. Right Now.
Men are everywhere, and nowhere in particular. You could meet them through friends, at parties birthdays cookouts, - at work- through your hobbies- on line- in vacation, or sitting on the bus next to you. Maximize your
potential for meeting new people if you wish, join clubs groups associations .... but possibly in view of chilling and having fun, not of going on the prowl because you must snatvh something before it's too late.( If you do , somehow it shows and puts people off ).
But let's be tragically pessimistic and consider the worst case scenario, that you 'd never meet another guy.
Why, is being alone that worse than being stuck with an alcoholic pothead whom you don't even love ?
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