A
male
age
30-35,
*0q50
writes:i'm an 18 year-old male and my girlfriend is 16 and bi-sexual. my problem is i cant trust my girlfriend cause i keep thinking that she has meesed around with someone or is messing around when im not there.the first time i noticed it was when i came off course with the military and a couple weeks after i found out she was making out with some guy at a party while i was away with the military. my friend told me they heard about it so i questioned my girlfriend but she wouldnt admit it until after i broke up with her and she said she was drunk and only remembered kissing him, she quit drinking so i forgave her and we started dating again but now she's always talking to all these men i don't know on msn late at night and telling me she's places she's not and just a few days ago she met this 20 yr old lesbian and spends hourse on end in her apartment alone with her and all they talk about is feeling and sex (my girlfriend is bi-sexual and we havent had sex yet). what's worse is i cant find her hymen layer which makes me worried and another incident when i came home from the military another time, i came home a day early and found her laying on some dude with her head on his crouch. am i just paranoid or should i break up with her?has she cheated or is cheating on me??
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male
reader, 50q50 +, writes (10 December 2009):
50q50 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx for the replies but im still very unsure :s
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): First of, she's 16. She's young, and it sounds like she thrives on the attention of other people (males/females), who display an interest in her. She's not a 'keeper' at this point in her life. She could be, when she matures and develops further in adulthood. But right now, she's not the girl for you...because she is really focused on flirting, partying and enjoying her sexuality. And that's ok. She has the right to live her life in any way she chooses, as long as she's being safe and not putting others in any perilous situations.
As for her hymen, that is an extremely old fashioned notion, that if you can't find it, she's cheated. There are many reasons why she doesn't have a hymen. So please, she's not damaged goods just because she doesn't have a hymen. That is silly. What she is... is likely a vibrant young adolescent girl, who wants to live life to her fullest. And truthfully, she's not fully committed to you, but is choosing to lie about it rather than hurting you. No..it's not right, but that is where her immaturity comes into play and her behavior is not uncommon. So many people do this very thing in relationships and that is not healthy, is it.
So my suggestion: Let her go. You are embarking on a career in the military, where you will be posted in other places. You need someone more mature, one who shares your worldview and has the maturity to withstand the LD relationship scenario. She's out there and you will find her someday. But most young people, like your gf's age, are into dating a varierty of people, experiemnting sexually and just having a lot of FUN! Give that to her. Time will allow you to recover and heal. Good luck. and I wish you success in your career. Take care.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 December 2009):
Ho, you're not paranoid. You're a nice guy who's eyes have been opened I'm afraid. She's at least kissed another guy while you wee away, you found her with some guy on the sofa with her head lying on his crotch and she's lying to you about where she is and talking to other men late at night.
Dump her, you can really do better!
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