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male
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anonymous
writes: I have a situation thats bugging me. I've been involved in a long distance gay relationship for two years where we are very faithful to one another and during this time while we were apart in different countries we didn't see anyone else as we were committed to one annother. Before my partner went to another state for work purposes, we fell in love and found that we have so so much in common and we go together like hand and glove. We complete each other both Mentally, emotionally and physically. We chat every day on the phone where we express our sexual desires for one another and discuss about our future of being together, being a gay family/couple, which we both want. Now we see each other growing old together, and although we haven't lived with each other for this period or seen each other as often as we would have liked, I know that he is and so does he think that we are each others soulmates. Before he left and during the period that he was away we bonded even more and our love for one another was becoming more powerful and more alive, and it still is. I know all of his habits, he knows mine, our likes and dislikes, as we are pretty similar and I've been with him for a week and we get along perfectly, if there is an argument its sorted in an adultly manner- we don't let things get out of control.We will be moving in together. We want to get married, as we are each others soulmates, although we haven't lived together or spend so much time together in person we've bonded in a very special spiritual way, and we want to be together and get married, is there anything wrong even though we haven't spend that time together???A friend of mine said that we hardly even spent time together, thats true OR that we basically dont know one another, its hard to explain it, but that hurt because we know each other well, and we know how its like because we've spend some time together when we are together its magical, and powerful and real-even over the phone.Am i being stupid, or is there no doubt that he is my soulmate, even though I haven't lived with him, I want to marry him- is there anything wrong with marriage because we haven't spend time physically with one another?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006): I think the phrase "quality over quantity" applies here. The question you need to ask yourself is not "have we spent enough time together?" but rather "can we really work as a couple?" I used to spend every single day with my ex, but just because we spent a lot of time together did not make us a good couple, and we split. If you feel that you really know this man and he really knows you, and you are truly in love, and, most importantly, you know you can work together well as a couple, then that's all that matters. Forget what others think. Trust your instincts. That's some advice that I'm trying to take right now. Good luck to you!
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