A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, i'm confused and need an unbiased response. My now ex-fiance and i split a year ago. Shortly after that i asked that i still see her 3yr old daughter to whom i became very attached and the child to me. She advised that wouldnt be appropriate and the child shouldnt still associate me as a father figure. So i left things. A month ago i started getting text messages from her about parties around town i should attend. I ignored them. Then she contacted my mother asking if her and her daugther could visit my parents (last contact was over a year ago). My mother agreed. A few weeks later I gave in an contacted her.She suggested i come visit her and her daugther. Before the visit something felt "wrong" or like she was planning something. Anyway, i go to her house and in addition to the childs cousins being there there was also her new "boyfriend" of a few weeks. I was surprised that she let me see the child and even more shocked seeing as there was a new guy on the scene. During the evening, when he was in other parts of the house there was constant flirting on her half. Dont know if she set up this whole scenario to make me wake up and get back with her? Is she just playing games? Is this how women work? Am i being naive????
View related questions:
cousin, flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (30 May 2007):
 It takes a big man to stick around in the life of a child who wasn't even yours. A big risk in getting involved in someone's life when they already have always exists. It shows that you're the bigger person. Ask her not to flirt with him in your presence, or not to ask you over at all. Don't bother with her.
DV1
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (30 May 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
There are two ways that I would handle this if I were in your situation:
1. I would call up my ex and ask what was going on. Hopefully she'll give you a straight answer and not try and play mind games with you. If she says that she does want to get back together, I would probably tell her no. Why? Because of having the decency to talk about this sort of personal thing one-on-one with you, she decided to invite you over for a (weird) little meeting. I don't really see this woman as caring about you, but rather caring about herself. If she cared about you, she'd want to at least not put you in such an awkward situation. At least, I wouldn't do that to someone that I cared about - but everyone's different. So, back to what I first said - ask her what the point of meeting was and why she flirted with you. But I would also make sure to let her know that the get together and the position you felt you were put into were very unappreciated.
2. I would ignore her as you've been doing. I think that's the best way for you to get over her, because if you go over again, who's to say that she wouldn't have the boyfriend (or whoever he was) and all the little cousins over? How would you two actually have a *real* conversation?
I dont' know - this whole thing sounds weird. I would personally go with the second suggestion. You were fine without talking to her for a year and now you're all confused after seeing her.
Take care.
...............................
|
