A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had been dating this guy for around 5 months when he joined the military. And thats when my mother began almost hating him , if i asked to go spend time with him she got snooty and an attitude. She would say things like its okay if you die you have life insurance -very harsh towards the guy i saw spending my life with. I always wanted to have that close relationship where you talk with your mother about how you feel about that special someone. when i tried to do so i was told we dont want to hear about your future plans keep them to yourslef. she acted very jeaoulus about how much he cared about me and that he would take me out for dinner and movies. well one day she decided to tell me i could no longer see him or talk to him . with no regards to how i cared . now almost a yr later i still have the same strong feelings for him and she doesnt care how i feel and wont even talk to me about it. i dont sleep at night cause im miserable. how can i deal with this? or get her to listen?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): in relpy to the 2 answers she tells me she trusts me and that she knows i will always make the best decisions. but to understand my mothers and i's relationship u must know that she has told me straight to my face she doesnt listen to what im saying 99.9 % of the time. i will sit and talk to her and at the end have a question refering to what i just spoke about n she will flat out say i wasnt listening to you.
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 If it's any consolation to you: I don't believe you ever get to have that sort of relationship with your Mum. Possibly a little once parents know you are getting married, and that's the only time they seem to accept who you are going out with.
I always think it's Mum's worry about sex and getting pregnant and some Mums never truly trust, regardless of if you give reason to distrust or not.
Who knows over time, should your relationship last an equal amount of time longer, perhaps she'll soften up a bit. Perhaps you'll see a gradual progression over the forthcoming weeks and months.
Fiona
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 November 2010):
 She's made up her mind, and honestly, I can kind of understand why. You're still young, and in order for him to be a military man, he's got to be at least 18. That makes any sexual relationship with him illegal for you. Sadly, she doesn't realize that what she's doing is only making you want him more and alienating your relationship with her.
You need to talk to her. Don't talk about this boy. Don't even bring him up. Talk to her about trust. Ask if she trusts you. Ask if you've done anything to make her think you make bad decisions. She may have reasons you don't realize for her feelings, then again they may be unfounded. Ultimately it comes down to how much she trusts you to do the right thing though. She's not showing much trust so you need to find out why.
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