A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I joined a dating website and started to talking to a guy, he messaged me first. I checked his profile and didnt really fancy him but didnt want to be nasty so chatted for a while. Anyway he turned out to be very funny, a really good laugh. And I checked out some more of him on some social networking sites and his photos were much nicer and I fancied him alot more.We have been emailing, chatting, texting for 2 months. However at times he goes very quiet and I wont hear from him for a few days. we finally met last week. He was just as funny in person and I had a really good time. Turns out tho that he has a girlfriend, except he doesnt call her a girlfriend, he calls her a superficial loser!! Not very nice! I guess that explains the quiet periods. So since the date we've spoken, text, etc but now I haven't heard from him for two days. I am totally confident that he will be in touch, problem is, I dont like the quiet spells, dont get me wrong I dont want to have a full blown relationship, but I want some consistency!! How can I say something to him without sounding like a "crazy lady", we've ony just met so I've got no right to make demands on him and obviously it is too soon to even think that we can be exclusive with each other.I would rather just delete his number and forget about him than things carry on this way, but I dont know how to say it to him. Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 September 2008):
 What's wrong with being a bit honest with him? Tell him that you enjoyed the date but don't want the drama of dating a guy with a girlfriend. Simple, not hysterical, just fact. Then you can ignore any further contact with him and delete him at will.
I have to say that he sounds like a loser himself, if he has a girlfriend yet is out there looking for dates. Now THAT'S loser material if I've ever heard one, especially if he refers to her in such a demeaning way. If he doesn't want to be with her, then he should end it. All I have to say about him is 'yuck.' You can do better.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): You said: "I would rather just delete his number and forget about him than things carry on this way...." and because you said it and nobody else did, I think you have your answer. You don't have to say anything. Just delete his number and forget about him. You also said: "we've ony just met so I've got no right to make demands" and that goes both ways. You didn't lose anything as you haven't been really "involved" and you didn't gain anything except maybe some good times and memories. I am not saying you should delete his number and forget about him. I'm saying that you already answered your own question. Good luck!
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