A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im really confused.ive been seeing this man from work for a while now.no-one at work knows about it as we decided ages ago we wanted to have a casual relatiohsip.But now im beginning to have feelings for me but im not sure how he feels.Sometimes he is very loving towards me and other times he isnt.im not sure whether to tell him how i feel and if he doesnt feel th same jus end it.my firneds tell me they think he likes me but im not sureHe sometimes ignores me and doesnt txt bk or phone. yet other times when we are alone and by ourselves. always asks m what iv been up to and makes plans for our future like going on holiday together or him giving me a key to his apartment.. and other times he acts like it is just casualmy fiends think that he blows hot and co becuase he doesnt no what i wnt. as i tell him i dont want a relationship..but i DO!!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 September 2008):
 Okay, first, stop lying to him. If you want a relationship, then be honest. How can he read your mind? Most guys will take what you say at face value. If you say you don't want a relationship, then you don't. They're not mind-readers, most of them, bless their hearts.
Next, you don't have to say that you've fallen madly in love with him and want to elope tomorrow and move into a new house and have 12 children. You can just say that you like him A LOT. This of course is after you let him know that you are actually looking for a relationship. You can just say that you've had some time to get to know him and that he's really growing on you. No great drama.
Then, after your revelation, you can see how he reacts and treats you. Give him some time to process this new information and reflect on it, then watch what he does. Don't push him or rush him at this point.
If he wants to be with you, he'll find a way to let you know then.
If he doesn't, he'll ignore the information you've revealed.
I know it's tough, but putting your dignity and heart on the line once in a while is the only way that you'll ever find out if a guy likes you or not. There's really no way around it. If he doesn't leap at the chance to be with you, don't blame yourself, or him. It just wasn't what he wanted, and most likely has nothing to do with what a great catch you are.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Then you need to tell him how you feel.... let him know that you are growing feelings toward him & ask him how he feels. Where do ya'll stand?
Maybe say, "I don't want to freak you out nor do I want to rush things, but he more I am around you, the more I want you and the more I want a solid relationship with you." and see how he reacts... you'll never know if you don't speak up. You have to say something. :) (you can do it!)
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