A
female
 ,
*aci
writes:My boyfriend of three and a half years has cheated on me over the internet before. Several times. I have asked that he absolutely not use Instant Messenger for that very reason. He promised that he wasn't using IM at all. Recently, I found out that he has a hidden profile on Myspace and is using the Myspace IM while at work. I am furious and feel totally betrayed. I suspect that he is up to his old tricks again. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be appreciated.
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at work, cheated on me, myspace, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): I have almost the same situation. I found my boyfriend on facebook and he told me he hadn't. Then he gave me his password and I saw he sent messages to girls around the world. But bad messages like I miss you I want to see you soon, I'm single... I was very sad when I saw it. And he promised me that he loves me and that he was stupide. We had to marry next summer. I don't know what doing. I want to forgive him but I don't know if I will trust him again... We doesn't live in the same country and I wanted to move after marriage. But I don't know what to do. I think he loves me but I don't understand why he did like this if he loved me... So I understand your situation
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): Dear Poster
I consider his actions deceitful; furthermore, he lacks respect for your feelings.
Answer the following questions:
Why is he doing it?
Can you trust him?
Why are you in this relationship?
Remember love is not enough to secure a happy relationship.
Respect,Honesty and Trust are vital ingredients to a the success and happiness of a relationship.
I suggest you talk to him and you think carefully about the future of this relationship.
Best wishes; lots of smiles.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 I'm the complete opposite of "xxaziexx".
Instead of attacking him. Why not ask why he does it? He's your partner in life, not your inferior worker. Maybe it's for different reason.
If he lies to you (Which he shouldn't!), it's his problem. He's the one who'll have the guilt of lying to his girlfriend.
It's his life, for now, he wants to spend it with you. If he feels like he's in a prison when being with you, he'll do like a prisoner and try to break free.
Confronting him, telling him what to do IS like a prison, or you being his boss. Trust should be the foundation of every relationship. When you don't feel you can trust, try to understand. Arguments = pain = shorten relationship life.
I'm a strong believer of "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you." Especially when it comes to relationships.
I hope this different approach will help you. Have a nice day! :)
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A
female
reader, Laci +, writes (26 November 2008):
Laci is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate your advice. I am very torn as to what to do. I don't want to stay in a relationship with this much pain, but on the other hand I love this man and can't bear the thought of losing him. He has admitted he has a problem and wants to stop. But everything I have tried has failed. I have decided that I cannot go on like this any longer. I want as much advice as possible, because I am making a life decision within the next couple of days. I will take the best advice given to me here, and act upon it. Thank you all in advance for your help.
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A
female
reader, xxaziexx  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 Confront him, he's taking you for a mug, he's treating you badly and going against your wishes dont put up with it. If you think he's the type of guy thatl not learn by you asking then 'attack' and you do exaclty the same, spend a lot of time around him but on your computer talking to many guys!!! im sure he'd hate it and see how much you were hurting while he was oing it to you. If none of his works he's not worth it good luck
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