A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys,I need help with a situation I got my self into.I am Indian and the 2 guys involved in this equation are also Indian - one in UK and the other in India.I was dating this Indian guy in the UK and because my parents didn't approve of him - I called if off! However, we continued to be best of friends and continued studying together, discusseing work-place problems (both of us from the corporate world) etc - generally continued to be close friends and confidante.In the meanwhile - I went to India and met an old friend and we kind of clicked off instantly and there was a spark. When I came back to UK, he asked me out (from India for a long dist.) and I said yes. He however asked me about my ex and I told him I am not in touch with my ex in UK anymore. I was extremely insecure on how he would re-act if I told him that I was in touch with my ex.Meanwhile, my ex in UK and I continued to hang out once in a while - sometimes boundaries would often get blurred and he (and even I sometimes) would address each other using endearments etc but we would remind ourselves that we are best friends now. I didn't tell my ex in UK about the new guy in my life in India as he is not going to start his further studies and I know this would screw his head up.In the meanwhile - my boyfriend in India and I broke up over some issues.Anyway point is my ex-boyfriend in India found out about my ex in UK recently (like how I am in touch with him and meet him and hang out together alone) - I think he probably actually hired a private investigator as not only he has my UK ex's telephone number but also photographs! I know he (Indian ex) was looking at me as someone who he wanted to marry within the next 2 years or so and after lying to him and subterfuge I finally told him the truth - honestly even admitting that there were times the friendship boundaries got blurred with my UK ex.Well what makes me feel worse is - despite everything my Indian ex is still set out to protect me. He never told his friends what I did or even call up my UK ex and tell him the whole story like most guys would do (that would have broken off my friendship for sure too - and I know I deserve it).I told him (India ex) I'd love to make things right - start over - earn his trust back (the usual stuff) but he says he can't trust me again (for obvious reasons).He now wants to be involved in my life as my best friend! He wants to be my confidante - and wants me to contact him for any help or anything wrong that happens in my life so that he can bail me out and be there. I do not understand his behaviour!!Shouldn't he be running as far away from me as possible - he just wants to still be in close touch and as a confidante and best friend! I told him to buzz off but he is persistent!! Why?I would also like to salvage this relationship (with Indian ex) -I know what I did was pathetic but I have realised my mistake. Guys please don't look at me as this woman with a black heart. I am really a feisty goody two shoes kind of girl who is always proper and does the right things.These 2 relationships above have really been my 1st (at 22 years of age) and 2nd (at 24 years of age) relationship ever. I don't date for the heck of it. Please help - I want to know what his feelings are (Indian ex) and whether something can be done to salvage the situation.Thanks
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