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female
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*ottness
writes: My bf really has trust issues. He wont let me do anything. i cant even go to the tanning bed because a guy that i used to mess with lives close to there. how can i get him to trust me more? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 Well you've found out that the truth is the way to go. You're going to have to pay this price for a while BUT, not forever. He shouldn't have been so concerned about your past life. By telling him a lie though you gave him reason to wonder. Anyway, tell him straight out, "OK I lied. We already know that. It was stupid, I'm sorry and it won't happen again. I love you and I'm faithful. I've never cheated on you and I won't. The ball is in your court. Take me or leave me but I won't apologize again. I made a mistake and I've learned a lesson." Then, you have to stand your ground. Don't let him crucify you for this everyday. BUT, be wiser next time.
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female
reader, hottness +, writes (19 May 2006):
hottness is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell he asked me about this guy if i had ever been w him before and i told him no cuz i didnt think it was that big of deal cuz it happened before i even meet my bf but that wasnt the only lie i lied about stupid things just cuz i didnt want a fightbut when he found out it was afight anyway i know it is my fault that he is acting this way but i really want to try to make things right i just dont know where to start iam being honest w him now but he still thinks im lying about things he thinks i have or am cheating on him but im not, im 24 and im trying to settle down and be serious w this guy i love him so can i please get some advise?
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (19 May 2006):
Well, you left out the "I LIED" before part. That tells me something about you. So his insecurity is actually somewhat understandable because you gave him reason to have those feelings. Now he's stuck on it. What was the nature of the lie? How old/young are you?
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female
reader, hottness +, writes (19 May 2006):
hottness is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsee it goes much deeper then the taning bed thing i cant go anywhere because he thinks im lying to him about it and he thinks that im seeing other guys when im not i think i smessed this one up because i have lied to him and he has caught me lying to him now everything i say is a lie to him please help i really love this guy and want to be w him!
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female
reader, hottness +, writes (19 May 2006):
hottness is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsee it goes much deeper then the tanning bed thing I cant go anywhere because he thinks im lying to him about it and he thinks that im seeing other guys when im not I think I messed this one up because I have lied to him and he has caught me lying to him now everything I say is a lie to him please help I really love this guy and want to be with him!
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female
reader, hottness +, writes (19 May 2006):
hottness is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSee it goes much deeper then the taning bed thing I cant go anywhere because he thinks I'm lying to him about it and he thinks that im seeing other guys when im not I think I messed this one up because I have lied to him and he has caught me lying to him now everything I say is a lie to him please help I really love this guy and want to be with him!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2006): you know i am a guy and i went through something similiar to this..except i was on the other end..if i asked where she was or what she was doing it turned into "your being contolling" or "i want to have my own life" and so on and so on..it wasn't that at all though..something in my gut told me that her not really telling me in conversation what she was doing meant she was hiding something..see in a realtionship everyone throws around the word trust like it is this thing you should just do because, that is bs..trust is built b/c when you say "hun, i'm going to the tanning saloon, i'll be home at 8", that actually happens!..then over time you begin to trust the person more and more through small little actions like this..see relationships are complex, but one of the things in a realtionship that people forget is that you do have a responsibilty to someone else and what they want and yes, in some ways, they do have a right to ask what your doing or who you were with?? that is not that big of a thing to ask..doesn't everyoone in the world who is involved with someone like to know these things? of course they do..be honest, tell him what your doing during the day in the form of a caring conversation b/c you are interested in what he is doing and he is interested in hearing what you are doing. see my ex would leave little things out of the conversation that she did during the day and it in some weird way hurt me..i liked to speak to her about everything i did..and she would leave out some things, most likely b/c she just didn't want me to know..that is the main reason why people don't say things. you know he is uncomfortable that ur ex lives near the salon?? respect that and go to a different salon!..everyone gets jealous for different reasons and everyone in insecure about things!
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (18 May 2006):
You can't change him. Only he can do that. What he's showing you now are signs of a future disaster. Where were you? Who was with you? Who did you talk to? etc. If you put up with this, you'll be paying a price for crimes you never committed, for the rest of your rrelationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): At this moment in time, you can't unless you forfeit your life. People will tell you to try to talk to him about it, maybe even call him wherever you go, etc, but ultimately, you're trying to change someone who is insecure. Why is he like that? It probably has to do with his past. Look into his past, and start there.
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