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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I know it's silly to ask, nationalities aside, people are people. Saying that, I do need some advice regarding a certain wonderful woman that I have met that happens to be Russian: I want to know what NOT to do and what I SHOULD, how to make her happy on a date or when we meet next time. I have read about giving odd non-yellow numbered flowers, getting small gifts, giving compliments, I know it's all silly but what would be a nice way to show her that I love her, things to say, small things, big things, blue things, anything...Any tip welcome.Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): I'm Russian, maybe I can help you out. We Russian girls like simple things. We like a very good meal, maybe something Mediterranean, from another country, etc.DO NOT make jokes about vodka, Communism, anything like that. It is an ENORMOUS turn off. HUUUGE TURN OFF! She will walk out!Be your natural self. Take an interest in her culture, ask what it's like where she is from. I'm sure she will have a lot to tell you. Contrary to popular belief, Russian girls aren't alcoholics who drink vodka (I HATE it, for instance) and have sex every day. Some are very reserved and MOST are very intelligent. Get her some pretty flowers, learn a few sweet Russian words ("oh, I know a few words in Russian, *recite them*") She would be flattered if you just compliment her, and don't treat her any differently. Most women just appreciate a man who treats them nicely. Be yourself. Good luck!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Do not listen to Help.outGuy!! Are you just trying to be funny? That's the worst topics you can bring up, why not start discussing politics, Putin, and Chechnya while you're at it.
Russian girls hate it when guys joke about them drinking vodka etc. If she brings it up, or cracks a joke on the clishe, then you can join. But otherwise it will sound as if you ridicule her and her people. Do not stereotype Russians in front of her! She could take offense.
Russian ladies like real men, and gentlemen. That means you do the classic things, buy her flowers, open the doors for her etc. Give her complements! You don't need to go over the top, but standard chivalry will get you a long way. Russian men are good at giving their ladies flowers, so that's a definite to do, and not just for the dates, but for every occasion that calls for it (birthdays, 8th of March, picking her up at the airport etc). Watch out for the flower language, many Russian ladies put emphasis on the number and colour of roses... so be careful not to send the wrong message.
Russian women are for most part lady-like. They get their nails done, they live in cities, they wear fur coats in winter and like to look rich. So take her somewhere classy where she gets to show off, most Russian ladies I know love to take good care of their looks, so taking her camping will not be ideal (unless she is a camping person, or you definitely know she enjoys the outdoors). She will most likely appreciate a romantic setting at a restaurant, or elsewhere. Then from there just treat it like any normal date and see if you get along. Remember to treat her like the lady she is, don't stereotype her nationality, don't go into politics in Russia.. Just stick to the general topics for conversation and take it from there. Most Russians are patriotic (love their country, this is not linked to politics), so asking her about her home could be a good topic, to talk about the things she loves about her home-town. Most Russians don't want to go back though, but they still love where they come from.
Don't tell her this! But Russians have quite the classic set-up when it comes to gender and work-roles. Don't tell her that! But keep it in the back of your mind. This doesn't mean she will cook for you, or want tons of children, by no means, but it means that if there is something mechanical that needs fixing, she will automatically want YOU to do the dirty job. If you fail to do so she might not respect you as much. She will also look to you to be the bringer of income. A Russian lady is very independent, but she still wants the classic man that is capable of taking care of her, even if she doesn't need it. In other words, she will be drawn to a man with aspirations, a good job, a good income, a man with brains who is not lazy, and a handyman.
Russian ladies also want to get married. But they are not into being locked down at home with kids, maybe some will, but it is definitely nothing you should imply to want for her. She wants her independence, freedom, but at the same time the traditional things such as marriage, home, and a man who can take care of her even if she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
Hope that helps!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): Yes, moon river, special Russian customs for dating is what I'm after.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Some of the things you describe are the exact same way you would make many other women happy on a date. Regardless of nationality. Just be yourself and do something romantically original.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): It's me again.In answer to your questions, chigirl: I've known her for a while, we met a few months ago, but lost touch, met in France, I'm British, a bit of a long story on the whole situation, did not see her for a while, now we reconnected. When we met the first time I was already pretty upfront with her. I absolutely do not want to throw a big "I love you", more something lovable, or endearing. I don't know how much she blended-in, we're quite worldly I guess. I do know though that she is very Russian (whatever that means), grew up with certain habits and talks of (naturally, for the cliché, she really does drink vodka).I was looking for some small things, just to make sure that she knows I care, it could be even a bit tongue-in-cheek, something to say or standard etiquette that I don't want to mess up.Thank you.
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A
female
reader, moon river  +, writes (30 March 2011):
 You sound like a nice and caring guy!! Don't worry but be yourself! If you want it to keep going then act as your normally would and tell her how much you like her, bound to win over most women. Is what you meant are there any special Russian customs for dating or something?
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (30 March 2011):
Where are you from, how long have you dated her, and where is your relationship at at this point?You asked how to tell her you love her? Are you sure the relationship is at that stage if you just met her and is taking her out on a date?I would like to know where you are from in order to answer your question. People are people, nationalities aside, and there's always different personalities. But I have a general idea of what Russian women want, as my best friend is Russian, I've date Russians, and I've lived in Russia. I think I can help. But without knowing the circumstances it's tricky. Does she live in another country than Russia, how long has she been living there, does she speak your language, how strongly does she associate with her Russian heritage, and how much has she blended into the society of whatever country you live in?Need more information about her please...
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A
male
reader, helpOut.GuY +, writes (30 March 2011):
 well i have a good friend who is russian and all she talks about is sex, porn, nuclear warheads and vodka . So.... maybe strike strike up a conversation about some of the above? also keep letting her know you love her in different romantic ways. i hope this helped ^.^
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