A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a man for a while and I love him very much. I know beyond a doubt that he loves me too. He came to me about a month ago and confessed an infidelity and begged my forgiveness. I thought about it and realized that the bottom line was that I love him and he came clean on his own, indicating his regret for what he had done. I forgave him and we are together, he makes me happier than I have ever been. About a week after this, he told me that this woman is now pregnant. I am struggling with this so much, he already had a child when I met him and I know I want kids of my own someday. I know it sounds bad but he is my best friend and has always been so good to me. But I do not know what to do, this woman is carrying the man I loves' child and that kills me. Any advice anyone? Do I continue...has anyone else had to deal with this?
View related questions:
best friend, infidelity Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): I am in the exact same situation. He had a relationship with this other woman on and off for the 4 years we have been together. We live together. I am 25 and saw a future together with him. And now she is 5 months pregnant. I feel like my whole life is upside down. I don't think I can get passed this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Sorry to put a spanner in the works but did it occur to you that maybe he only admitted he had cheated because he had to? If this girl is pregnant you were going to find out sooner or later so he had no choice maybe he didn't admit it because of regret or guilt? If she had never fallen preg he may never have told you. Are you going to be able to trust him being with this girl all the time? He will have to visit her to see his child. I think you should leave him and find a man that wants babies with YOU not some random one night stand (if thats what she really was?) Goodluck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): I think that you've done the hardest thing... which is to forgive. This is the hard part. If you can move on with the relationship then by all means do and just try and stick together through the support for the baby. He should get you involved in someway with the child's life as you are the woman in his life. There really is not much you can do about the baby coming but just be as accepting as possible. I worry also if he came clean about this other woman only because she was pregnant? Be careful of this also. Good luck and stay strong. xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): One more kid from another woman? Cheating? I see a lot of red flags here. I think once they cheat they no longer care for fidelity. Also that's a lot of childsupport money and time he'll be spending in the future with these women and these kids. What means less time for you, or you having to integrate to these women and kids' lives also. If your love is soo big it goes above and beyond all this you should stay with him, but I wouldn't stay if I were you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): So this guy sleeps around with some random woman without protection?? Then comes home to you and sleeps with you, putting you at risk for contracting diseases and you say that you are positive he loves you??? That is a very interesting perspective. Delusional. But, nonetheless, interesting.
And why do I get the feeling you will find a justification to what I just said. "oh but we haven't slept together..." Something.
Girl, if I were you I would dump his ass. Cause I don't put up with shit. I have respect for myself and I don't let guys treat me like that. And, if that was me, I know that he would regret it for the rest of his life. If that was me he would be on his knees crying and begging for forgiveness. And I would be packing my stuff up, starting a new life and never looking back.
But hey, if you want to be pathetic, then be my guest, its your life.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 November 2007):
 Sometimes when people have an affair 9 months later comes the real affect of doing so. I believe the hardest part of this is having yet another lady possibly be part of your life. Now you mentioned you really love your boyfriend? If you do then you'll need to accept this fact, and work through it together. You both may need to seek some counseling as well, to work through this together. But always remember, this child didn't choose to come. It's a product of this girl, but also the person you love. Never disrespect a child. You asked if you should continue. How much do you love him? that's your answer.
...............................
|
