A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this great guy I know he's really sweet and cute.I've always liked him and I never thought he could possibly like me back.The other night our group went out to a nightclub and we got left alone together.He asked me to look at him and finally we kissed.I could not believe it.We ran off to the beach and sat near the water for hours and talked,eventaully this lead to hours of making out.He wanted alot more but I did'nt want him to see how naive I was.I told him it was to soon and It was,He asked me if I was a virgin I was really embarrased to admit I was because he has quite a badboy reputation and has been with alot of girls,So I felt nervous and just laughed it off saying "I'm not telling".I'm 18 and besides a few incidents I've really only ever made out.He seemed a bit disappointed that I did'nt want to be open with him.He is an extremely open person.At one point he pulled away from me and said,have you done this before?..I started panicking and thinking oh god im so bad at this.He said "It's just that you have a very long tongue" I nearly choked when I heard this.He laughed and said "It kind of makes me feel a bit emasculated"and that I was kicking his butt at making out.I seriously don't get this because he was going way faster then me I wanted to slow things down.We'll Ive decided I don't know what he meant because he sure continued to enjoy it,He barely let me come up for air the whole night long.He even woke me up at like five in the morning with kisses (we stayed on louge chairs at a freinds).Anyway were going out again in few days and just in case something similar happens I want to know how the hell you give a handjob?..and like oral? I know nothing about these things.I'm sure he'd be happy to teach me and he would'nt find it strange that Im a bit inexsperianced.But for some reason I just don't want him to know.I was always the really awkward dorky kid at school who had no freinds.Im sure he remebers this stigma as he was one of the popular teens.I guess thats why im nervous..Its like being in school again and not knowing what a Bj is.The other thing I want to point out is I'm really comfortable with my body and his.I love being close to him and touching him.I want to go beyond just touching and being close but besides googling it which helps!I don't know what Im doing!Oh and If people are going to be nasty please just dont bother I think it's healthy to explore your sexuality with a person your comfortable with.Ok so how do I do this?..Any advice? :)
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Really its all about communication. Eye contact smiling some dirty talk. Stroke him spit lube lotion. Prepare for it. Thats even hotter. Buy a small bottle of ky n keep it with u while youre with him. This way youll be ready and also have the psychological boost that u will indeed jack him off lol. Stroke him start slow ask him what speed he likes n go with it. Have clean nails too and polished. Always sexy. Lastly tell him where to cum without him telling u where he wants to. Huge turn on. Hell like it. Have fun.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Okay let me tell it to you as it is. You like this guy. First time you "get it on" he kisses you all night and pushes for more. You stop him because you're nervous. Next time you meet you want to be sexual with him. You have feelings for him, but you think he's got feelings for you???
He is just using you. He doesn't like you, he doesn't have feelings for you. He wants sex, and that's about it. He'll use you for what he can, and when he can't get anything more interesting out of you, or if become boring to him, or if another woman catches his eye, he'll ditch you. And then you'll be crying and wondering what signs you missed.
Red flag: he pushed for sex without really either knowing you or being in an official relationship with you.
If you need this black on white here's a very simple test. If he's got feelings for you, ask him to be in an official relationship with you. Introduce him to your friends as your boyfriend. Walk down a street holding his hand. Do this for a couple of weeks without sex. Then see if he sticks around.
Oh, as for him wanting you to be "open" with him? It's not about wanting you to be open and honest with each other. He just asked you if you are a virgin because he wants to know how soon he can fuck you. A guy who really cares about you will NOT be prying into your sex life like that, but show respect and let you tell him and open up when YOU are ready. On the other hand, a guy who frenches you at a nightclub, pushed for more, then asks if you are a virgin, is only interested in one thing. And don't let any sweet talk convince you otherwise.
You decide if all you want is a sexual fling with him, or if you want something more serious. If you vote for serious then leave the sexual things until you are in an official relationship and actually know each other. Once you've decided what you want, casual fling or serious relationship, tell me and then I'll tell you how to do things.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Well, you could do one of those things, but it may well be the last time he spends time with you. You said that he has been with a lot of girls, which indicates that he is a "player," as we say in the States. You may prove to be just another conquest. More time would be advised.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): Ok I'm not going to be nasty. Happy? (lol)
Just one advice. Don't be too easy. "Too easy" means "Not too sexy".
We can not teach you oral and handjob with a few lines of text. Just do it when the time is right. It's easier than you think. You are a female and your female instinct will guide you in your sexual encounters.
And why do you want to act like a non virgin when you are a virgin? It would be the luckiest day of my life if I had a virgin girl in bed. It's the ultimate fantasy for any guy, and you want to hide it?
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