A
male
age
51-59,
*r.goop
writes:i am in the middle of an adoption and i fell in love with the birth mother, i love her more than my own wife. is this normal that i want to spend rest of my life with her and unborn children she wants to give us? help me
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female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (16 December 2011):
 I would normally not give the advice I am going to give you now... I think that perhaps a meeting I had with someone yesterday who was unhappy in marriage may have influenced.
Be honest with yourself!!! It starts there. Talk to your wife honestly... ask her why she needs to belittle you all the time. What is the source of this? Is she also unhappy?? Face up to her! Get to real facts!
Then given the outcome of this conversation you can talk to the babymom. I have to say tho that ... most relationships start out perfect... great conversation etc and then later reality hits... but you must close issues at home before opening a new door with the babymom. I wish you luck you sound like an awesome guy! I hope you find your place and happiness! xx
A
male
reader, mr.goop +, writes (16 December 2011):
mr.goop is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo iam in love with her as person,not because she is giving us a child.ithink of her every minute of day,want to be with her night and day,she is more than just birthmom,and feel she has same feelings towards me by all comments I get from her,how life would better if i met you,instead of my ex husband, or boyfriend she had baby with,met her parents and they told me she said why cant i meet some like me and fall in love with her and make her feel special in every wat possible,she constently ask how Iam feeling,what wrong and she always knows answer to how Iam feeling at the time.iconsider her MY BEST FRIEND MY SOUL MATE MY EVERYTHING,We contestly talk to each other thruout day,joke tell or intimate details in lifeI know more about her than my own wife,I rather be with her 24/7 over my own wife,my wife loves to be little me all time and Iam getting tired of it and feel like i need to change in my life sometimes I feel that she is taken advantage of me in everyway possible get what she wants in live.Child that she could never have,I stood by her all thruout 8 surgery to fix her and finally dr. told she had to have hysterectumy,I was heart broken for crying and despire...But now I feel like she doesnt care for me at all in been over year since her surgery and been in sex free marriage most of time,only when she want it when we were try to have children of our own,we have no children yet,until this adoption goes thru.I wish I could leave her and dont know how i would exactly tell birthmom my true feelings for that I want to be her everything in live,love,and eternity..What can you tell me to help me out with my problem of why I want to be with someone who cares for me more than my own wife???
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A
male
reader, mr.goop +, writes (16 December 2011):
mr.goop is verified as being by the original poster of the questionresponse to Mariab,no ifell in love with her as person we are constently talk to each other,have same fellings,we consider are self as best friends,ifeel like my marriage is on fence,we always fight over something studid or she like to down grade me to size spec of dirt,and it is getting old,we been married for little over 10 years and very confuse.we do not have any chidren yet,I Love Birthmom more and more each day and i rather be with her,in every way possible.she is a beautiful person,inside out and is everything I would want as my soul mate,my lover,my spouse.WHAT CAN YOU SAY TO LEAD ME IN RIGHT DIRECTION
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 December 2011):
 Normal? Define normal. It appears to be quite normal for people to fall in love while they are in a relationship, but most people would stop the contact and intimate friendship once they start to feel things are going over the line. You however didn't, and as such have been disloyal to your wife.
Doesn't matter whats normal or not, the question is about your morals and ethics.
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (15 December 2011):
I am wondering if you are in love with the fact that she is giving you a child??? That puts her in a very powerful position... Father, Mother, Baby... Type thing! I don't know how to advise you as you have not given details. Are you happy in your marriage? Other children with your wife? There are a lot more issues to this. Can you give a more detailed pic?
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