A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So at the end of last summer me and this older guy really started something. We met through one of my close friends one day and later that night hooked up in the back of his car (No sex). I was expecting it to be a one night thing, but we started texting and talking and I found out we actually had a LOT in common. The only differences is he's three years older and not a virgin.Eventually I really started to like him, and to my friends disapproval went to his house that weekend while his parents were out on vacation. The first day we didn't do much at all (I was perfectly fine with it) We watched movies and cuddled on the couch, and later went up to his bedroom after things got a little hot. But that was all. No sex, and he wasn't trying to convince me to either. He was really sweet to me, I can actually say he was the first guy who seemed to like me for me, and not because I have boobs. In fact, I usually kissed him first and was the one who suggested to go upstairs. I could talk to him about anything and he would listen.The next day I went back over to his house, the only difference is that day I suggested we actually went all the way. When I got home I called my friend to tell her, but she started to yell at me. I was shocked, I even called her the day before asking for her advice if I should have sex with him or not, she said it would be fine, just wear protection. She denied saying that insisting she was 'joking' about it and continued yelling at me "You're too young! He's using you! I'm so disappointed in you!". The next day I found out she even 'attacked' the guy and yelled at him also. Was what I did really wrong? I would never doubt his honesty with me at all, and I don't regret what we did. I thought about everything and I wanted it to be with him, but she insists It was a mistake because I'm thirteen. In the end doesn't it only matter about the maturity in the situation, not age?
View related questions:
boobs, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes we were safe, I made sure.
I wouldnt marry him though, my mom got married at my age and it was horrible.
Iwould never get attatched to him, in fact hes more attactched to me.
A
female
reader, Sissy 1992 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 It is your choice not your friends. Just remember even if he has protection things can go wrong that is how i got my first nephew. Just follow your heart. Yes age might be a problem but when is it not. The guy I am "Seeing" is ten years older than me. My mom is the one that introduced us. Dont put to much trust in him and dont get to attached. Men come and go. Just trust your self and talk to someone.
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I agree that maturity matters - I've known people in their 30's too childish to entrust with their own romantic lives, so it works both ways. Physically, you're ready, too.
However, legally, he can get sent straight to prison and end up on a sex offender registry for life, even if this was entirely consensual. I think the statutory rape laws exist for very good reasons, even if they include people who really are ready for relations - what are we supposed to do, have a written exam? (Actually, not a bad idea...)
The only way out is a bit extreme - in some U.S. states, you can get married with parental consent below the age of majority, and would legally be considered an adult for having sex with him.
Obivously, the *much* better option is to just wait until you're old enough. Try to enjoy the anticipation.
...............................
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Legally, age matters certainly for you darling. But I can understand where you are coming from with the maturity aspect of this, especially if you have genuine feelings for him. But the law is the law, and this law is in place for your own and other young people's protection.
Your friend seems to be protective of you. It is a very serious concern at your age and she is just worried something might happen to her friend, that's all. You must understand her concern.
For your own protection, try not to do it again at least until you are in the legal age limit and have a better understanding of relationships, boys, love, STD's, parenting and a whole lot of other things. You have a big life ahead of you, there is no need to rush into things yet. Enjoy your youth.
Do you have an adult you can speak to about this? Someone like a big sister or friend you can really trust? it may be worth having a chat. Does your school have a councillor? it may be worth having a private talk with her about this too.
I hope my answer has helped you.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Well honey the mature thing to do is wait till the legal age of consent, before you have sex. The legal age in America varies per state is 16-18, which you are not. You had sex with a guy who is 3 years older than you are making him 16-18, of legal age. He can be charged with statutory rape and put in jail. At the end of the day, age matters.
...............................
|
