A
male
age
41-50,
*estley
writes:I'm a bit worried about my relationship with my gf, I really dont know where it is going. i'm kinda thinking about that i would like to have children, but my girlfriend has no interest in these things. i kinda think that if i'm gonna want it one day, it's best to do it sooner than later.our sex live is rather weak, i dont like the fact that she almost never initiates sex, and sometimes she goes to bed thinking that we would have sex, but I have no idea! she doesn't give any clues. once this wasnt much of a problem, but now i have no idea when she wants to have sex or not. once when i thought she wanted to have sex and it turned out she didnt it was sort of a shock, so i decided that i would make that mistake again, because it felt sort of like i was forcing her or something. bad feeling. and then when we have sex she just lies there and doesnt ask for much and doesnt give much either. i find it really sad, because i cant help but think of all the great sex ive had with her and other girls in the past. i think she has the idea that if she doesnt ask for anything, she cant be asked for anything in return.To make matters worse i have found that i'm often looking at other women on the street and thinking about how good they look. i know it's normal to find other girls cute or hot, but now it just makes me sad inside for some reason. it's like i'm missing out, or something.so my question is, is this normal? is it normal for the sex live to fade away and just not have children? should i try to change things, just be happy with what i've got, or move on?
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male
reader, Westley +, writes (9 June 2008):
Westley is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmany thanks for your answers. i think i need to talk with my gf and perhaps we can see what we can do for each other. i must say that things are looking better today than yesterday, even if these things have been bothering me for some time. and i really dont think she is unhappy, she is way to busy with work and school to have time to worry about these things. well, who knows. i cant read minds :) but it would be very very hard for me to move on. i've had me share of failed relationships, and i really want this one to work.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): I suggest you have a serious heart to heart talk to your girlfriend about your relationship and about the things that is of concern to you. You should discuss your hope to have children(hofefully within marraige) but should only consider that if the relationship is on track; happy and stable, as children into a already troubled relationship can only bring more problems.
If you cannot sovle your probems, I suggest you come to a mutual agreement and move on.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): I think you already know the answer here. If you want children and don't have them because of her then you will always blame her. The only legacy you really leave is your children. They can be a pain but more of a blessing and pleasure. The weak sex is a) she really isn't interested in you, or b) she is punishing you for some imagined wrong. Time to move along Westley.
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A
male
reader, jay12toes  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 if you were happy with her once that means you can be happy with her again. you really need to talk to her about it, tell her how you feel so that you can both work on your relationship. as for the kids thing, its best to wait until your married, becuase if you dont love someone enough to marry them then you shouldnt have kids with them.
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