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In love with my same sex friend but don't want to freak her out by her knowing I'm bisexual.

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Question - (12 February 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I need a bit of advice. I have a best female friend who I have been in and out of love with for years. I have openly discussed being bisexual with her in the past. However I find it difficult being friends with her at times, as I am always left wanting more and then feeling incredibly guilty for this as she is straight and has no idea I feel this way. I have tried not seeing her as much and making excuses that hurt her. I don't want to hurt her as we have been friends for 8 years. I sometimes think it would be easier to just tell her how I feel. However I don't want to freak her out or for our friendship to end because of this. Anyone got any advice about this kind of situation, would be glad of your thoughts.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009):

Hi,

Thanks for your answers. :-) She is my cloest friend and we tell each other pretty much everything and have done for years. That is why I both want to explain and am relunctant to tell her at the same time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009):

Don't live your life in fear tell her. You may lose her for awhile but she'll come around. It might freak her out, hell she might already know, but does not want to say anything to you. You should get it out and in the open. Since she is a heterosexual she probably won't want to be anything more than friends. I am a female and I have a male friend that has told me he is in love with me. For a couple of days it was akward for the both of us but we got through it and we are still great friends. No matter your sexual orientation when you tell someone that you love them and they don't feel the same way it is akward. I hope this helps you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009):

It sounds as though if you don't tell her your friendship will likely end anyways...Might as well tell her, in my opinion. You never know unless you ask.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009):

i wouldn't bring it up…it'll most likely just make things extremely awkward and your friendship will never be the same

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