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In love with my friend, do I lay it on the line and ask where I stand?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 November 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 12 November 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

ok so straight to the point , i have developed feelings for my friend he knows i like him but he hasnt done anything about it(the ball is in his court so to speak) hes been flirty but then reminds the moment we r friends and he shouldnt be as flirty i enjoy his time and talking about anything and everything but i know im doing his head in (he hasnt said that tho ) i know if he finds a girlfriend ill be crushed do i lay it on the line and ask where i stand and if theyll ever be a romantic future or just slowly cut back and cut contact to once in a blue moon

View related questions: crush, flirt

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (12 November 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYou say he KNOWS you like him, are you sure he knows to WHAT extend you like him? Have you told him already or just "dropped hints"?

Because IF he already know and have done nothing.... HE isn't into you to the extend of wanting more then friendship.

Well, so here is the thing. Are you willing to accept that he MAY NOT feel the same way? That he MAY reject you?

If you can handle THAT, I'd say go for it.

Flirting doesn't ALWAYS means a person is interested. Having had mainly male friend my whole life, I have NEVER developed serious romantic feelings for any of them, but I have flirted and been flirted with, by all of them to some extend. I kind of see it as we were honing our "flirting skills" on a friendly platonic person. Someone who NOT take it the wrong way, but just enjoy the banter.

What do you have to lose? If you are considering backing away (because he doesn't SEEM to have understood your "hints" and haven't made a move) then you are willing to lose him as a friend without ever ASKING him or telling him.

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