A
male
age
36-40,
*rsadguy
writes:I fell in love with my cousin, im jus 21 and she is 28 i didnt mean to fall for her. it just started like friends but we matched eachother so well, maybe to well. I still in love with her and i know she loves me to. we've slept witheachother but now she is starting to feel the guilt of our relationship.i on the other hand am willing to bear the guilt and keep it going. She is now talking about marrying but with someone she doesn;t love at all. What should i do? should i runaway with her and marry her? or should i just leave things be. because i know if she marry for the sake of her family i she will be absolutely miserable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Im sure she appreciates how much you have cared for and loved her, you loved her enough to let her go, thats an amazingly unselfish thing to do.
Ending relationships are always very hard but time is a healer and I am sure you will be just fine. One day you will find someone that will adore you the way you have your cousin, then you will beable to love them as much and as openly as you like.
Take care x
A
male
reader, mrsadguy +, writes (17 February 2008):
mrsadguy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionphiatiger, terifenby thank you. i couldn't stand to watch her so sad. so i waited until she brought it up and let her leave me. my only thought and hope is that she will one day be truly happy, it is something i think i cannot provide within this life. i am currently just trying to move on but everyday just feels heavy so i try to keep busy doing lotsa things. thank you again
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): I think it is okay, I have been in love with my cousin for a long time now, I try to date other women but it's hard because she is the only one I want to be with, I am crazy about her and I love her. I am in the same boat, i asked my self should I pursue happyness or should I just walk away from it even though my feelings for her will be there? I am at the point I will do anything to be with her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): Why allow things to be miserable for you guys?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): What your realy worried about is the word "incest" the word was invented by religion, it has nothing to do with medical problems like screwed up kids, we have hospitals chock full of deformed kids, not one from incest!however its still a crime in many states because they hold on to the old medi-evil religious inspired laws. however being in love with a cusin can be much stronger than any other, if your family is very religious they will denounce it.
sounds like she wants to get married for the sake of getting married, your 21yo do you have a good paying job or a future, you will need one especially if she gets pregnent.
I think you need experience with other girls first to get your mind off her and get your financial future together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): I speak from experience here. I live with my 1st cousin as man and wife. We are blissfully happy because we have so much in common personality-wise. In other aspects we are completely different, where hobbies and other interests are concerned for example. There is never a dull moment. We are of a similar age and now in our late fifties and have never been happier than we are now.
1st cousin marriage is not illegal in the UK. In some states of the US it is illegal. Some states allow it if the couple are past child bearing age or unable to have children. In other states there are no restrictions. You would have to check on the state of affairs in Australia.
Some other facts you might like to consider:-
In 1st cousin marriages, there is a 300% greater risk of babies being born with birth defects compared to the general population. There is a 600% greater risk of the foetus dying in the womb compared to the general population. Facts worth considering if you think you might want to become parents.
From my own experience, I'd say go for it, but only if you enter into it with your eyes wide open.
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female
reader, terrifenby  +, writes (1 October 2007):
 love is a strange thing probly the worst thing in the world as you cant control it! people will say it is wrong but if you are both sreious about each othere than go for it! maybe go away for a while meet new people and if you still feel the same way about her than you have got your answer! and as forr marrying some one she doesnt love than that is stupid, she wont be happy and it will end in tears and im sure she is worth more than that! dont you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): It would be wrong of her to marry to keep her family happy.
However I wouldn't plan to marry her yourself just yet either, you have lots of things to overcome, such as family approval before you should do that.
What are your familys feelings on this situation? Do they know? It is true, you can't help who you fall for but when it is a family member people tend to judge.
Are you prepared to maybe have to be cut off from your families to be with this woman?
I think you need to consider this decission from all angles. If she cant see past what would be said by others and it will make her guilty and sad, then you have to let her make the choice to end it.
Weigh up whats to lose and whats to gain.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): Oh friend I saw a story like this on a tv talk show. And there was lots of chanting from the crowd of a particular name if you catch my drift. Maybe you just love the idea of her. You are too young to be falling for anyone like this. You guys got close and then you brought sex into it which makes it worse. Try spending time apart and dating others to see how you feel. Don't jump into something that could damage your relationship with your family. That's way more important.
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