I still love him after all these years! Are we soulmates?

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I met the true love of my life when I was 17. From the start it was a long distance relationship. He joined a band and moved even farther away before I graduated highschool and while we kept in touch, it was difficult and I ended up moving across the country with another man when I was 18. After that relationship ended I found his band on the internet and we got back in touch (at this time I was 21) This is the truest feeling I have ever felt for someone this love, it is pure and real. Well, he started flying out for days at a time to visit me between tour dates and every short visit was like heaven. as his band gained popularity, the visits were less frequent and we both became lonely. Mutually we agreed to see other people until one day we could be married and our lives would work out where we could finally live together. well, I got pregnant with a man's baby that I had been seeing. I ended up moving in with him and trying to make it a working family. During this time I kept in touch with my love for a while but eventually it got difficult and he got into a serious relationship. My child is now 2, and last weekend I drove 8 hours to a city his band was playing in. it was the first time I had seen him in years and all the feelings of love came back for both of us (i believe). there was hugging kissing and holding hands . Unfortunately i got too drunk because I was nervous to see him and I could not express everything I was waiting to tell him for the past couple years. All I really remember from the end of the night was him saying he would not cheat on his current girlfriend (which i would never want him to anyway) and two really long hugs when we were saying goodbye. I woke up with great sadness and we haven't spoken nor do I expect to in the near future. My questions are : do you think he still loves me but knows our lives are too different now, and do you think there is only one soul mate out there for you? Because I have dated many men in my life and not one made me feel anywhere near the love I feel for this man. I do not know what to do, i need/want him in my life so badly...it hurts to think i may never be with him because since i was 17 I always believed deep down we would be together in the end. I cannot forgive myself for not expressing my true feelings when I had the chance. also, I spoke to him on the phone about a year ago and he said he didn't really love the woman he is with (and still is) and that he too never could forget the love he feels for me. i have stacks of love letters from over the years and I have trouble believing that true love just goes away or slips away from you. please help

View related questions: drunk, kissing, long distance, soulmate, the internet

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008):

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