A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I told my guy friend I loved him about a month ago after a fight. For the last year it seems like we keep getting into little fights over absolutely nothing. We have been friends going on seven yrs. now. I met him at work when I was still with my ex. My ex got me pregnant and left me, and me and my friend started hanging out playing dominoes. And we have played A LOT of dominoes over the years to the pt I thought he was obsessed. We have never been intimate, never even kissed. He does make a point to give me a hug everytime we see each other at work. A couple years ago he talked me into going back to nursing school and said we would do it together. I realized I loved him after I got jealous and I thought the reason he kept getting mad at me was because he wanted my adoration. So I told him thinking it would make things better. He then went to avoiding me for a month. I kept trying to make things better only to make them worse. He keeps saying I hurt his feelings by all these little random things, which I have apologized for even though I don't think thats true. Anyway, he called me the other day and blurted out I don't see you as a girlfriend and I don't want anything from you and I don't want you to ask me for anything. Have a wonderful day. I was heartbroken but finally I called him the nxt day, he picked up, and we talked about what we both did to offend each other. Then he called me back later that night. WTH?!? I'm confused, I feel rejected, and don't know what to do. I really love this man and he wants to keep being friends and I don't know how to right now.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 January 2010):
He's told you that he doesn't love you in that way. No one knows what IS going on in his head. Probably not even him.
But for now, you know where you stand.
Take some time away from him. Go cold turkey and TRY HARD to get over him. You have to decide that this is what you WANT.
Tell him you need to take time away and get this out of your system so you two can be friends again without all the problems.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Aw, Hun I am sorry this turned out this way.
You know what, you took a risk, you put your heart on the line and that is what you have to do if you are ever going to have love in this world.
The problem with being in love with a good friend is that they may not feel the same way as you do and now that you have revealed your deeper feelings for him it makes it pretty awkward for both of you because he is telling you that he doesn't want that from you....he's calling you back because he does care about you though as a friend and I am sure he feels badly about hurting you...he kind of reacted to your news in a forceful way, I think he just didn't want to let his guard down and put up a wall instead.
Don't take it too hard, just give him some time and space and let him know that you still want the friendship even if he can't offer more and that you are OK with what ever he decides.
If you aren't OK with it though and it hurts you to feel this way about him and only have him as a friend, then I would say you have got to cut down your dependence on him quite a bit...so that you can leave your heart open to someone else who does want the same thing as you do.
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