A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi every one well my story is kinda long so plz try to bear with it and thanks in advanceso i am 17 years old a guy and in love with my best guy friend who is 18 i confessed to him last year and rejected me in a very hard way he hurted me so much he even told me that i should get killed for being gay ( iam not out yet he's the only one who knows) we didn't speak for the whole summer but in the end of it he came to my house and apologized i didn't want any thing to do with him but he kept chasing me and i could see that he was really sorry so i forgave him and we became friends again (i am still in love with him though)...oh when he was apologizing he held me so tight and for ages he never hugged like that before ...so we became buddies like before nothing changed untill this incident so my parents had to go out of town for work and i had to stay alone at the house (i am an only child)so i asked him if he could spend the night with me i told him we could stay up late and play some video games and he was ok with it but first we had to do some grocery to make diner in our way back home i bumped into a guy i said i was sorry but he was a jerk and wanted to pick up a fight when kyle (the one i like) stepped in and stood up for me the problem is the guy had his friends two of them and they seemed all older than us i have no idea why they beated kyle but not me but thank god there was an old lady who helped us ...so he got some bruises on his face and arm but nothing serious we decided not to tell any one about it ...so when i was treating his bruises i was having so much fun hearing the OW OW OW!!YOU ARE THE WORST NURSE but later he became silent and i could feel he was staring at me while i was treating the bruises i thought i was imagining but the staring grew more and more i was embarrased to ask him why he was starring i was confused the only thing i could do is pressing hard on the cut to distract him but with out a warning he pushed me down and got on top of me i thought he was mad because i kept hurting him so i told him that i'll be nicer but i was so surprised when he KISSED me it was my FIRST KISS AND WITH THE ONE I LIKE i tried to stop him but i couldn't he was so heavy then all of a sudden he stopped;apologized then ran away i needed an explanation for it but he kept avoiding me and not answering my calls....after the weekend i saw him at school hall he pushed me and didn't want to talk to me when then i lost my temper and punched him people stared at us then he grabbed my hand and took me to an old room that no one uses he told me that HE JUST FELT LIKE KISSING ME i was so pissed off cuz i've never done something like that to him that's when i punched him again then he pushed me against the wall and was THIS CLOSE to punche me with all of his power (i was praying to have only a brocken nose LOL) but when i opened my eyes he didn't punch me he said:"you idiot how can i ever lay hand on you" he seemed to calm down then he put his head on my shoulder and said:"i am really sorry plz try to understand let's just forget about it and if you don't want to talk to me that's fine i'll take it as a punishment" then he leftI AM REALLY CONFUSED what should i do does he like me or something he doesn't have a GF and doesn't seem intrested to get one ......how can i act normal after what happened he made me fall for him even harder ..i thought of ending our friendship cuz whenever i am with him my chest feels so tight i don't want to live miserable like i am now ....plz help me and thank you all for taking time to answer this ...GOD BLESS YOU
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (18 November 2011):
 Hi,
I enjoy reading your story very much. Finally, something nice to read, no stress, sad story, problems, etc. I can see why he's your best friend, you are so sweet, it's hard not to like you.
It's quite simple why he's behaving this way. Starting with a year ago, when you confessed your true feelings for him. Put yourself in his situation. You are best friend for a while. You are two young, normal, ordinary, healthy boys. Life is normal, you guys hang out, do things, talks about things, etc. Out of the blue, "suddenly" you tell him you have strong, deep feelings for him? Imagine?? He was probably shock to hear that! First of all, you being gay probably never even cross his mind! So, with the discovery he didn't know how to react, so he was rude, mean, hurtful,
disrespectful, and just didn't know what to do....
I know what he did, and the things he said to you was very hurtful. But, you have to understand why. This is a huge change. He needs time to understand and accept. So, he did stay away and you guys were no longer friends. I am assuming that during that time, he realize that he really appreciate your friendship. Now you guys are friends again. I think he will be your friend for life.
Now, let's forward to the day he kissed you". I know you are confused and wants answers. The truth of the matter is that, he cannot answer you. Why? Because he doesn't know why? He was telling the truth, " I just kissed you because I felt like" BUT, the problem is that he doesn't know why he felt like kissing you? He doesn't know why he kissed you?
As you may know well yourself, sexuality is a very difficult issue to talk about, and understand. Sometimes people just don't know why? My only advise for now is to just give him time... Do not talk, or ask him again. I know, it's frustrating, because you are madly in love with him, specially after the kiss :) / by the way, Very romantic/
Everything is very new to him, it's probably uncomfortable to talk about this with you now. Also, he's confused. He cannot understand himself, so therefore how can he explain anything to you? Remember, when he said
you should die because you are gay? Back then, he had different opinion. For now, just enjoy spending time. Continue being his best friend. I am sure, one day you guys will together, be able to discuss, and together you guys can make a decision.
Good luck
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 he seems into you but doesn't know what he feels. its difficult to tell but even if he does decide he is attracted to you, you could be led on a wild goose chase.
be prepared for him to never be in the right place for a relationship with you. even though he may be attracted to you.
keep your options open
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A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (17 November 2011):
Hey there,From reading this story it sounds to me like your friend doesn't know deep down what sexuality he is or really cares about you but has confused those feelings of admiration with that of infatuation or love. I know this is of little comfort but the first cut is always the deepest one. At the end of the day he has to deal with his feelings and at least he appologised to you and recognises that he has done wrong. A lot of us have lost friendships forever because of things like this. If I were you I would tell him you appreciate everything he has done for you and if he needs to talk to you about his sexuality then your there for him. I hope it works out for you either way and you don't lose the friendship.
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