A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I found this site and decided to post my question. This is kinda long.Background: Never knew or spent time with my cousin really. I started to notice her recently and see her at family gatherings. She is my second cousin I think, maybe third but definitely not my first. I am 17 and she is 21. At first she was a nice friend who was funny and I enjoyed her company. We started txting alot and then we flirted and even have "secret codenames" for each other. (On one occasion I swear she was trying to feel my junk. She sat next to me and put her hand on my "lap" while we were talking but it was like RIGHT THERE and at the time I wasn't really in love) She doesn't mind talking to me about anything in her life. Which is why it was weird when I found out through someone else that she had a boyfriend. I casually txt her asking if she had a boyfriend. Then she made it sound like no big deal saying they only knew each other for a few weeks and was not serious. By this time though I had developed feelings for her and can't get he rout of my mind. Pretty much I'm in love. They have been together for about three months now and have already met with him a few times. He seems like a really nice guy and I don't treat him poorly at all. I try to be super friendly with him but deep down I'm in love with my cousin. They still don't seem serious though, just like they are really good friends like her and I already are. The only thing is he is around her age and I am four years younger. My parents are YEARS apart so I don't mind. I think 4 years is no big deal but maybe to her it is, i doubt it though. ****My question is: Should I tell her I love her? I really actually just want advice on the situation because I'm lost. I always thought liking your family was gross but since I never really knew her until recently it doesn't feel wrong with her. And I think her parents are cousins also. Once again she is not my first cousin but 2nd or 3rd. She is the daughter of my mom's second cousin. So I don't know what that is to me. I feel like if I tell her I love her she wouldn't take it negatively at all cuz she doesn't seem like she would since Ive known her for about a year. I feel like I would get a similar response but I'm not sure. I want to know without asking straight up. Any advice is appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEdit: I wouldn't act on impulse and kiss her like that trust me. I have enough self-restraint for that, ive been around her drunk a few times and I was fine. Thanks for input though and I think I'll hold off telling her at least until she and her boyfriend have broken up. If they don't then it wasnt meant to be for me and her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): I think you should tell her because eventually maybe if you dont you might end up kissing her and if she reacts surprised she might express to you alot of possible feelings. Like she might be mad or she might be upset and unhappy because she didnt think she was leading you on or she just might like it. but me and you dont know what she would express if you just kiss her. Also kissing her might get her confused. I think if you tell her shell have enough time to think about you and this other guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): if she is the daughter of your moms second cousin that makes her your 3rd cousin. it it legal in all states to marry a third cousin. as for advice im at a loss. im also on this site for the same reason except it is my first cousin and ive known her since early childhood. while on this site i have gotten advice saying to tell her especially if you are that close. seeing as though she didnt tell you she has a boyfriend she want you to like her. i dont think you can miss with this one ask and you will get the result you are looking for. i wish i was in your shoes.
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