A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Im a 36 year old man. My fiance' is 32. Im in love with her cousin who is 32. My fiance and I never got along during our 10 year relationship. She's not financially stable. Her cousin is the ideal woman for me. Her cousins boyfriend is just like my fiance'. I think we should switch, like trade spouses. My fiance knows I want to break up. We also live together for now. I been in love with her cousin for 5 years now. Her cousin deserves better. Me and her cousin are stable. I know our relationship will be better than struggling going from place to place. What should I do?
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (29 December 2008):
 You don't mention how her cousin feels about you, just that you think it would be an amazing relationship. Job one is to end the engagement because she knows you aren't happy and you don't love this woman if you say you are in love with someone else. Even if it couldn't work out with her cousin why would you want to marry a woman you don't love? You said you have been fighting for 10 years... Anyways, end that relationship. It would be better to be alone than married to someone just because. Now tell the cousin how you feel about her if she doesn't already know. If she wants to stay with her boyfriend and doesn't approve of dating her cousin's ex then let her be. Maybe she doesn't care about how ideal yall's relationship would be. But in any case end the engagement, don't marry someone and be miserable. Move on from the whole family and meet someone new if it doesn't work with the cousin. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Well, they say opposites attract. But if you think your fiance is not the right woman for you, then end it before it goes any further. If you are in love with her cousin, deal with that once your relationship is ended. And then you will have to deal with the fact that she is in a relationship. And maybe she isn't as concerned about finances as you are. Do you know if she is unhappy in her arrangement, or do you just feel this guy isn't good enough for her, because he isn't as serious minded. Two people equally as serious, could make for a boring relationship. There has to some differences to balance out a union. For instance, I am more spontaneous, and the risk taker in my situation, My boyfriend is "the thinker" and the worrier. I am the clown and try to find humor in almost every situation. I constantly make him laugh and so, I have taught him how to not take himself so seriously. He on the other hand has helped me become better at managing my finances. We compliment each other and it is a great relationship!
Anyway, no matter what the outcome with the cousin, you should seriously consider ending it with your fiance, if you feel she is not the right woman for you!
Good Luck!
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