A
female
age
30-35,
*phrodite123
writes:Hey,My problem will seem somewhat ignorant I guess. but i also guess i'm hoping that someone will not think i'm crazy im not sure.To start i've been talking to a wonderful guy on the internet. ive seen him on camera he talks about his family and his lifestyle and is one of the most polite men ive ever spoken too. (i know this could all be an act but i really doubt it the more i speak to him).anyway the problem arises here. He's from Lebanon but his family are Palestinian. so hes not even from the same country. But we have spoken sooo much and we speak for hours and hours every night. and he's not even after a visa to get into England because if he was with me he would like to stay with me in Lebanon until he had all his qualifications to work here and support a family. It sounds crazy but i've fallen for him and he crosses my mind all the time..... and i know i cross his too and he says he's fallen for me and in fact he's practically proposed. Which means here and now i appear nuts because im not scared. I've asked him 21 million questions about his country and culture and what i would need to do to be with him but he assures me i wouldn't need to turn Muslim for him if i ever did he would want me to believe otherwise its the wrong reason to convert. he has already spoken to his family about me and have seen me on video and things. he's a teacher in lebanon not great pay but enough because he's studying with the abroad branch of the open university for a degree in business. which is something else we have in common as i too am studying with the OU so that checks out from everything hes said to me. I know practically everything about him but i'm soo confused. I told him that its more complicated for me here. I said its basically like making my own arranged marriage to him and that doesn't happen here. And also explained that my friends and family will think that he is just wanting a VISA or something to stay in england. but i know that that's not the case. he said he doens't mind waiting for me and that he can wait even for years because he loves me and that his heart is mine. he said as long as he ends up being my husband he will be the luckiest man in the world. he hasn't protested against anything about me apart from bikinis lol but even with that I bought him around lol.Im just confused as to what to do. i don't know what else i can do i mean im a romantic and its my dream to get married and things and i've never clicked with anyone like i do him he thinks the same as i do and we talk for hours every night on skype and things so we see each other too so he's not some dirty weird pervert. Any advice is welcome. I know its crazy but i mean people meet people on the internet all the time now mine just stretches globally and could either end in a happily ever after or i could be blind and it end in disaster. also just to add i know marriage is a sacrament and not to be taken light heartedly which is why i will take a year maybe to know him even more. But once married i don't ever even want to consider a divorce and there is culture differences as well so slightly different.please help,thanks xXxaphrodite123
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): well...am Mohamad, and am the man phridite123 was talkin about...
I dont know wt to say, or i dont know from where i should start...i know its weird n crazy to fall in love with someone on the internet,i told her tht i had many relationships before, but it was just like spendin time, never felt in love as i fall with her now, if u wana say am crazy its k, am crazy man who loves on the internet, i love this gurl from alll ma heart, she is everything good for me, and u know, she is ma dream, if i will marry, i will only marry her, i cant imagine maself with another gurl, about lies, i dont want a visa, i just want her, n she can stay with me in lebanon, i have home, and i work hard, i love ma family n i have hundreds of friends...
note : i never lie even if i will die
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): What I want to know is this. Why is he writing to someone so far away and not someone local he could get to know by meeting up with them often? He could be genuine or he could, as your friends say, want a passport or visa.
It is very hard to know who a person is just from talking to them on the Internet. You know nothing of his past or his current life, apart from what he tells you.
Things can and do work out, but wouldn't it be better to meet someone you could see often and get to know properly?
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A
female
reader, aphrodite123 +, writes (9 December 2010):
aphrodite123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey,
Thanks for your reply. all of these thoughts have ran through my mind. I know i'm "young" and things, but to be honest i've never seen myself old to get married i've always wanted to marry young and as well my dads greek so always talks as well, so I guess i've always had that in mind. As for meeting he has family in London. so He could always come here for a holiday i guess to see and meet up. that way its on my own homeland and he is not alone either. as for real boyfriends iv'e not in all honesty been short of them or offers but neither do i take them all up. So i'm not uncontrollable and i'm not so ugly/antisocial that i don't get relationships. i would put myself in what people would feel or say is "regular/normal".
I do appreciate your response and it has helped.
Best wishes xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): There are a few issues here. To start with this is an online romance. What you have exists in cyberspace, not in the real physical world. I hate you say it but you can't totally fall in love with someone you have never met in the fresh. The fact the he is based abroad means to can't just meet up for coffee and get to know each other in a natural unpressured way.
Then, you are very young. You may not think so, but believe me, in making large whole life decisions you really are.
Then, there is marriage and the VISA issue. Of course alarm bells would ring for your parents etc knowing these details. It is only natural. And a real concern.
I wonder how many real boyfriends you have had, you sound as if you have been swept along by the romance of it all.
All this is not what you want to hear I'm sure.
If your friend were able to come over on a travel visa for a holiday so you could just meet up 'no strings', he could get to know you and your family, that might be a start. I would not suggest you go to the Lebanon.
Take care - trust your family and friends in this. They will have your best intersts at heart.
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