A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI have known this woman for 6 months now. I first met her at a work event where all the sub offices around europe came to the UK to provide us all with an opportunity to meet with our colleagues around Europe that we liaise with at work daily. I was introduced to her and I initially thought WOW... physically I am very attracted to her and physically looks like the woman I have always wanted. I have always imagined myself marrying a particular looking woman and she fits 100%. Anyway as the event continued i kept noticing her and couldnt help but to take my eyes off her. The event lasted for 2 days during this time I didnt speak to her again (as i was honestly a bit nervous to do so) but remembered her name and decided to email her when we went back to the office. I guess I wasnt sure what i was looking for but wanted to see if she would respond to which she did... From that point onwards we email each other every day (even sometimes on weekends and chat to each other using online chat). The problem is, she lives abroad and is in a relationship for over 10 years and am a bit confused because I really feel that I have fallen in love with her. I get the impression that her relationship isnt great and is sticking in there because the number of times she has told me that by talking to me like she does is a choice she has made so if she gets in trouble for it she will have to deal with it. I think about her all the time on a daily basis and she has told me she does also. I have met up with her twice over the 6 months and on each occasion just cuddling her created butterflies and sends shivers down my spine... We also kissed and I just dont know what to say other than wow! We talk about a lot and have even told her things not even my closest friends know. I dont think it can be lust because I dont see her and on the occasions I have seen her yes I am attracted to her but actually feel a stronger bond where it almost feels like if I was with her my life would be great could get through anything together. I even think that I would marry her and trust me its not something I have ever thought about! I just dont know if I should let go of the friendship due to the distance (her living in europe and me uk) and her relationship or just leave things the way they are and see what happens or tell her I love her. She knows how much I like her and like I said get the same response?
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female
reader, leaf_ lady +, writes (19 September 2010):
 You are not in love, you are infatuated. She is in a relationship already, so surely its better in the long run if you put your attention in finding someone closer to home who is available rather than wanting what deep down what you know you cant have. It does sound like lust to me, seeing as you already had that kinda woman in mind as your ideal.
In regards to her partner, its a bit unfair on him don't you think? How would you feel if your partner was going behind your back kissing and confiding someone else?
I think it says a lot about this woman's morality and that makes me question her motives. She may just be willing to use you for her convenience, but you seem okay with that. If your affair does escalate to the next level I would be wary if I were you.
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