A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm totally in love with this guy at work. He is 34 and I am 42. This doesn't seem to bother him....he started flirting with me in a very gentle shy way...calling for no reason....wished me a Happy St. Pat's day (I'm Irish and he's Latino) ---showing me he is interested in my culture, Last week he started confiding in me some pretty hefty stuff about himself - things he would NEVER tell anyone .....For the last few weeks, he asks gentle and sincere questions about me....he always talks to me sweetly. When my best friend died and he found out, he immediately came to my office, and gave me the most wonderful hug ...I have never been hugged like that in my life. Full front body hug, no space between us, holding tight, rubbing my back all over, arms all the way around me. It was comforting, sweet, romantic, just EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE. He spent time listening to me talk about my loss and what my friend was like. During that conversation, I managed to talk to him about dancing (something relevant to the death of my friend) and I joked "I will teach you to dance"...he smiled and said, "We're going to dance someday...but it will be a slow dance..." Here's the bad news: this guy is in the middle of a separation from a girl....so I have NOT pursued him. I am NOT chasing this guy. I would never in a million years hurt someone who is already hurting, but I actually think I am in love with him above all so I don't want to take advantage of the situation.Last week, he was flirting gently with me again, so something came over me and on uncontrollable impulse, I blew him a kiss --- he practically fainted from happiness. A couple hours later, we had a little spat over a work related thing --- he snapped at me pretty badly and I verbally bit him back --- he immediately got very sad ---- now it seems like he's avoiding me ...he hasn't come by the property (where we work) at all since then.... I know I am not making this up in my head...this guy feels SOMETHING for me --- I think he is afraid of me because I am very confident, assertive (he's a cage fighter and it so happens I am a black belt, and when he found that out, I think I went to the top of his list.) But what do I do now????? Leave him alone??? Let him come back to where we were? Flirt with him once more a bit and see what happens???I can't figure this guy out....please help --- I am really confused. I am scared to death of losing this guy from my life. He is everything I could ever want in a friend, and I can see truly opening up to him in a love relationship if he wanted that. (I've never had that with a man)...can you offer any thoughts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): I worked (still do) with an older man who alternately hit on me (flirting, flattery, etc.) and snapped at me when I stood up for myself in disagreements. I would be wary of the fact he was verbally rude to you...in my experience this is a sign of someone who is controlling, or tries to be. Long story short, don't fall for it. Good luck.
A
female
reader, vwomen +, writes (7 April 2009):
 Be careful please don't ever think what you see is what he is. you were in a vulnerable state when he started showing you some attention. He may seem to be mr. perfect, but you need to get to know him better cuz your feelings may be a cover up of your lost of your boyfriend. PLEASE don't put your heart out there so soon, for it be crushed. Take your time sort out your feeling, allow your feeling from your prior relationship to heal before entering into another. If you still that way later on down the road,then go for it but make sure his relationship has ended and feeling for his girlfriend is total gone, because if not you will have problems.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): That sounds like the start of my relationship with a Latin man. I will never do it again. If you decide to pursue this relationship, keep your eyes open and don't lose your grip on Life. I am still in the relationship, I am now called a wh*re everyday for no reason, constantly accused of infidelity, and need to ask for permission before I move away from my desk during the work day. Please, be careful. If he's showing a temper like that this early on, it will explode before you know what hit you.
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