A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 and my current bf is 19. We've been together 1 month (have known each other longer) and are about to move onto having sex together for the first time. (Skip this next part to actually get to the question, I'm sorry, I'm rambling!)Anyway, I read somewhere that it's a good idea to find out what YOU like before you try it with a partner, so I masturbated for the first time. I know I'm a bit of a latecomer to this (pun intended^^) but when I was 16 I was (mildly) sexually assaulted when this guy dragged me into a room during a party and put his hand down my pants. I managed to get away (and break his nose in the process) and he got charged by the police but it really freaked me out and I haven't even thought of venturing down south until recently. I just thought 'ya know what? I'm not going to let that one **** impact on the rest of my life'.So I ventured 'down there' and after a while of thinking nothing was happening and I was doing something wrong, the feeling started to get more intense, and the whole of my lower body started getting warm (I could almost watch which parts of my legs were warming up down to my toes) and my head started to get fuzzy and light-headed and I could feel a pulse down there getting stronger and stronger. It kept getting stronger like something was building up and my vision went fuzzy and my legs and arms kind of twitched and spasmed so I literally couldn't keep it going and I kind of ... gushed. I'm really embarassed and worried what my boyfriend will think! I know I went to the bathroom before so after a while I realised this wasn't pee.After I gushed the tension didn't explode away or rush through my body like it apparently does when you orgasm, which is why I'm asking - was this an orgasm? After all that build up it seemed a bit anti-climatic and I was brought up in a really sheltered family so never got any of this explained to me so I'm really confused!I could also literally see my vagina pulsing afterwards. As in, I could see it moving quite a lot with my heartbeat. It also got really painful to touch afterwards.I think this was an orgasm but it's nothing like I've read about, so I'm really worried, is there something wrong with me?Thank you in advance!
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (31 May 2012):
They generally say, "If you have to ask . . . it probably wasn't.". But in your case it sounds like it WAS, or at least VERY close. And I don't know why you would even consider that there's any problem.As you continue to develop your adult love-making skills you will almost certainly want to include your partner into your orgasm experiences. Believe it or not, most guys are absolutely thrilled to learn how to bring their lovers to orgasm and will work hard to give you that pleasure. Most of us don't pay any attention to a little mess - a few are turned-on by it - and, in any case, you can easily solve the "problem"(?) by having a towel (or a little soap and water) handy. (By the way - I'm sure you know that there will be some gushing when you give him a corresponding pleasure. Your reaction can have significant effects on him.)As you were told, it may be easier for you to teach him after you have learned a little about your own orgasmic response. I definitely think that being familiar with each others' bodies and each others' orgasmic response will make you two better partners when you add intercourse to your relationship. Allow some time for this mutual teaching and learning process - at least several days, or even months. My wife and I became progressively more familiar with each other's sexual responses and lovemaking patterns through our engagement - about 9 months - before we gave our virginity to each other on our wedding night. Since we always intended to be each other's life partner, waiting those few months wasn't a major drawback, and she is still very good at pleasuring me almost 38 years later.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (30 May 2012):
 I'll agree with AuntyAlexxmo here. This was either a small orgasm or very close to one. There is certainly nothing "wrong" with you. Masturbation is a healthy way to explore your sexuality and you should give it more activity. You are apparently old enough to become your own woman, but I don't see any need or requirement that you discuss it with anyone else - including your boyfriend. Most everyone on the planet masturbates, so don't worry about it and do so when you feel like it.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (30 May 2012):
 People have different "size" orgasms, to me it sounds like you had a small orgasm from what you have said, the more erm practise you get the more you will learn exactly what it is that makes you feel good and your orgasms will likely become more intense.
Hope this helps
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