A
male
age
30-35,
*lfredo1400
writes:Ok so I was a the club and I saw probobly the most attractive girl I seen in my life(I thought I was drunk until i saw her again and she looked just as good!). As a matter a fact all my friends tried to get her number individually but failed. I was the only one that managed to get it. I was so excited that I ignored all the other girls who I talked to, just so I could focus only on her. About a month later we had went on a couple dates and to my surprised I actually liked her as a person, not just her body. Long story short I finally asked her to be my GF and she said yes. Surprisingly we get along extremely well.The problem is that I think I make her very insecure. She convinced that Im a player. Now this might not be completely false but since i met her im a changed man. I REALLY dont want to fuck this up. I have given her no evidence or reason to think im a player. I don't talk about having alot of girls or anything along those lines. Her only reason for thinking that is saying I have a very sexual and romantic way of expressing myself, also she saw my contacts list which i do admit has moderately long list of women. I also think the age difference could be a big factor. Im 20 (19 wen we met) shes 35. However it doesn't matter to me because im used to being with older women but she might not be used to being with younger men. Every time I try to ease her insecurities she thinks I just have good game. My question is how do I ease her insecurities because I havn't been in a relationship in about 2 years so i don't know how to handle the situation but i do know it can bring problems.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): We all have to play the scene some in order to find that right person. You have been blessed with that wonderful someone in her. Now I think you need to find out from her what she wants or sees as possibilities in your together future. When she accepted you to date and gave her number, and then when she accepted you as her boyfriend/lover type companion what did she have in mind... did she expect to be just used and flattered or did she give thought that this could become serious and become even that much more meaningful in time? I hope the latter. If she did not see you as playing the field and has been growing together with you then all that is necessary now is for you to let her know how serious your love has grown for her and how permanent you would like to see it become. Hearing just that one fact and that you have chosen her to be your dearest love to cherish forever more should make it clear. If she runs from that then it would seem she was enjoying your younger company and is not as mature as you seem to be. That is my thought on it anyways. I hope my thoughts help.
A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (16 April 2012):
 All you can do is keep reassuring her, not only with your words, but also your actions. Over time she will come to realize that you are not playing games.
My husband was 24 when I met him, I was 40. Now I'm about to turn 50, and he's 34, and today we are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversery......so don't let anyone convince you that this wont last very long. The only reason why age is ever a problem (between adults) is because people make it that way.
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A
male
reader, eek  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 dont listen to the negative stuff. There is an age gap of 20 years between my parents. They get on extremely well and have now been married for 30 years. If you care for her that much let her know that and just see How the relationship takes you. If it is ment to be it will be. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): First of all you are still pretty much a child and she is a very much grown woman. 15 years is a huge difference especially in that age.
I can understand her insecurities, she is probably not very happy with the choice she made and realizes that. I don't know know her family situation, but usually at 35 women are married with children, dating a 20 year old wouldnt be considered average situation.
She knows she is going to get and look older from that point on. You of course are going to get older also, but for a woman at this age process goes very fast,x doesn't matter how beautiful she is. One day she ll be asked if you are her son.
I'm sure she likes you very much, but on a back of her mind is what's next? You have all these fun years ahead of you to explore and party. She probably is pretty much done with her wild side and wants a stable life, and family. That's where her insecurity comes from, she knows she won't have it with you.
May be you are a special case where you have family with her and couple of kids, but not likely.
I don't know how to help her insecurities, just enjoy while it lasts. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): Unfortunately, you're not going to be able to put her at ease because she knows whatever happens between the two of you won't last for very long. She's older and experienced enough to know that. You have a massive age gap, and are at different stages of life.
My advice is to just enjoy the relationship while it lasts, because it could be fleeting.
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