A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 24 years old manager at a retail store, i have know this co-worker of mine for four years, she is 22 years old. She had quit this retail job and went to work at a bank, from all the other co-workers i kept in touch with her the most, mostly by texting and sometimes talking on the phone. she lost her job at the bank and i suggested that she should work with me. over the past year we have been going out drinking every saturday, and i have been getting very attracted to her. we almost kissed in the bar but she stopped and said "you're taken" and she winked. I Have a girlfriend of six years. and i don't wanna ruin that relationship but i feel that my co-worker/friend and me have alot more in common with one another, than my gf. what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): It sounds like you may have more in common with your co-worker because you spend more time with her.
So what will happen if you dump your girlfriend and hitch up with the co-worker, and you meet another individual. Are you going to end up spending more time with them because you click? Your going to click with allot of people, but relationships, one of the marrying kind, requires commitment. You've been with this gf for 6 years. There should be commitment here that would prevent you from getting to involved with the co-worker. This behavior is dangerous to any partnership, whether girlfriend or business. You need to rethink your priorities and settle down, your to wavering, easily swayed, and this is dangerous. If I were your boss, and this is how you conducted yourself at work, I probably would let you go.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (27 March 2008):
What sorts of things do you have in common with your co worker that you do not with your gf of 6 years? How long have you known your co worker?
I guess it comes down to how important are these things to you, that you have in common with your co worker and not your gf. If by things in common you mean like interests such as music, hobbies, movies etc then I would suggest taking a breath and thinking about it because in the end those sorts of things mean nothing, what makes a relationship works is similar values and beleifs, not common interests.
Also consider like the other people said, that maybe you and your gf have just gotten into a routine. Try doing something different and talkign to her baout it, then maybe you wont have strong feelings for your co worker. In the meantime while you decide what you want, I dont think its appropiate for you to continue seeing this co worker who you almost kissed.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 I must say that I agree with the advice you have already been given by Laura1318, when anyone is in a long term relationship you get settled into a routine and the sparkle of when you first met and possibly had lots of sex is gone now and life in general has taken over.
The one thing you have to ask yourself is do you still love your girlfriend or not?
Don't do the dirty on her by seeing this other co-worker and leaving her hanging, that just isn't fair.
If you want to be with this other girl then you need to be straight with yourself and straight with your girlfriend and tell her that you don't feel that your relationship is going anywhere and you don't want to hurt her but if she asks you could be honest and say that you are attracted to someone else but you have never been unfaithful and you would never want to do that but feel you must be honest with her and not hurt her.
Only you can decide at the end of the day but don't live a lie, life is far too short to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. We are all looking for happiness and if that is what you have found then good luck to you.
You have been at least decent enough to not take the relationship further and your co-worker although obviously attracted to you knows that to overstep the mark while you are with someone else is wrong. She sounds a decent enough person as you are all quite young still so don't live a lie, make up your mind and decide and then go with your decision.
You have a long life to lead so enjoy it.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 6 years can be a long time and things can get stale and mouldy by then.
She is like a breath of fresh air.
You will have to decide if you want to switch course in your life journey.
Do you think your g/f is still relevant?
Only you can answer that.
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