A
female
age
30-35,
*ophisticated08
writes:so me and my ex boyfriend was together for a year and a half. so in the spring time around march- april he tells me that he wants to be my friend . now this wasnt the first time that he had told me that really like the third time . so i finally got it and i was like ok thats fine we can be friends. basically we were friends with benefits because we were still having sex but we considered friends. so just recently like in August i told him that i had met a friend. I thought that i should tell him because thinking that it would be ok because he said that we could see other people. he took it ok at first but i think he thought that me and the guy were close. so he flipped out on me. and The Guy he already has strong feelings for me even though we only been talking for a month or two and i just see him as a friend. This Guy comes to see me everyday and we just sit and talk thats it, so now im not sure what to do cause the ex is now proclaiming his love for me that i wished he would have done when we were together for a year. I just feel really confused.... The Guy i kind of have feelings for but there not as strong has the feelings i have for my ex. I just like hanging out with The Guy he just fun to be around . I told my ex that i would give him a second chance but then i told him that i need my space i just need time to think things through and he is taking it pretty hard. i feel bad for him , but on the other hand The Guy is still coming around everyday and wanting to be with me. even my brother wants me to be with The Guy not my ex. but i dont know what i should do just need a little advice...
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female
reader, sophisticated08 +, writes (12 December 2011):
sophisticated08 is verified as being by the original poster of the question my ex of course i miss him and love him and i now want him to take me back.... i have hurt him but it wasnt my choice i was scared of the GUY he was abusing me and manipulated my mind to choose him instead of the ex and now i dont know how to get the ex back... he told me he wants to be with me but doesnt want to hurt his new girlfriend who he has been with a month or two... i dont understand he knows me longer than her but doesnt want to hurt but didnt too much care when he did it to me... then he cheated on the new girl with me .... he says he misses me and things arent the same without me around him... what should i do wait and see what he does or continue to let him no i want him back?
A
female
reader, heartbroken princess +, writes (30 November 2011):
who do u feel more compforable with the GUY or ur ex?
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A
female
reader, freetolove_orcas +, writes (21 September 2011):
Wow, thats crazy that your situation is oddly similair to mine. I broke up with my first love about a year ago now, and recently I started dating this other guy. I have feelings for him, but I know they'll never be as strong as they were for my first love. We've recently started talking to each other again like we used to and honestly I'm falling hard for him again. But at the same time the guy I'm with now is proclaiming his love.I want to break up with him but its hard when hes really falling for me :/. For me I want my first love back. I know its hard but you just gotta follow your heart. I mean who do you feel more happy with?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 September 2011):
 I think you're right. You do need some time to yourself.
Whatever choice you make it should be the one that is right for you, not the one that hurts your ex the least. HE was the one who wanted to be friends, remember? His feelings are for him to deal with, not for you to accomodate.
I think you should also make it clear to this new guy exactly where he stands. He doesn't want to be the rebound guy. And you don't need the burden of expectations you're not ready to meet.
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