A
female
age
41-50,
*lueAngel
writes:I have been having a casual relationship with my ex (from three years ago) for just over a month. He is 25 and I am 24.He wants to keep it quiet and have some fun as fuck buddies (knowing that I love him and want more eventually) and see how things go and if it turns into anything else then it will do it on its own.He had told me to stay away from him a few months ago and has since admitted it was because he needed some space.He let me leave his house the other week and then called me back three hours later to say i could stay at his if i wanted to, knowing that his parents were there and would know.He told me i had nothing to worry about when i asked if he was having 'fun' with anyone else and when i asked did he want me there or would it matter who it was because it was just convienient he said i should know its going to be me so to stop worrying.I think he does genuinely care about me but doesnt want to rush things.I called him the other day and he said he was busy so i jokingly asked if he had someone there and he answered 'What? No!' and then a few days later admitted that i had made him angry by asking if he had another woman there.I just want some advice on if he was angry because i didnt trust him or if it could be something else?Am I wasting my time?
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female
reader, kukundrel  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 If I have be honest,I'll say that he doesn't deserve your atention.. He obviously prefers relationships a la "only for moment." But if you really love him, you`ll have to make him to take heed of you... Probably he was angry for something else. Because I think the reason "she doesn't trust me" is silly.. In this case there are many hypotheses. You can't be sure of anything. Me, too. Only what you can do is to wait... and to hope. Courage and everything will be ok... Don't worry.
A
female
reader, BlueAngel +, writes (27 August 2007):
BlueAngel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks.He already knew that i cared about him and he admitted earlier this year that what he felt for me when we were together hasnt gone away and is still there he just doesnt want to rush anything.I think I have to take everything on board before I do something I regret.
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Yes, you're wasting your time.
If you're only "Fuck Buddies" then you have to honor that arrangement. Feelings for him are out, asking about another woman is out, being jealous is out, and expecting that he will ever have more feelings for you is also out.
If you want more than the current arrangement, you need to talk with him about it. Tell him that you're developing feelings, and that you need to be either "all friend" or "all girlfriend." Then let him decide what he wants, and respect his decision.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 You sound like a very intelegent person and i am sure you already know the answer to that question. You are dealing with a commitaphobe who he himself doesn't know what he wants.You truely care for him and thats the only thing keeping you there. I would say he was angry because he feels you shouldn't need to know. If he was with anyone it's not your business. I don't think it had anything to do with trust as opposed to privacy invasion. He may feel by asking that question you were stepping over the boundaries you two have established to keep from being anything more than friends with benefits.
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