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female
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anonymous
writes:I need some advice - I'm going mad! I'm 18 years old and I am at university studying law. I have a great family, loads of friends and a great boyfriend. But I really want a baby!!I've wanted one on and off since I was 13 and now I really want to get pregnant. My boyfriend is older than me and he wants kids too but he's told me he's willing to wait until I've graduated and we're stable etc. I haven't told him how I feel at the moment but I really want a baby to him. Please give me some advice before I do something really stupid. I know this is a bad idea and everything points to not doing it but I can't help feeling this way! Help! Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2006): I was in the same position as you, I was in law school when I got pregnant, I don't know where you go to law school, but here working the first year isn't really allowed, so that wasn't a problem, but I did have a boyfriend who is financially stable.
A
female
reader, I wnt Aniyah +, writes (27 December 2005):
I absolutely know how you feel girl im also 18yrs old dealing with the same problem with my 20yr old b/f. Im willing to put things aside for this.. But my b/f just doesnt want to hear me out on the topic. I even got to the point where I just couldnt be with him anymore. A month & change of us not being together he told me hes willing to give me a baby as long as i get back with him. We did attempt it but I obviously didnt get pregnant. And now hes telling me all over again that hes not ready. Ive become depressed and very unhappy with his choice. His family loves me & his mom even wants me to have a baby, but just not him. Girl if this is something you want & you feel very strong about this then just try it, but @ least finish your 1st or 2nd semester in college so you can almost be done with school when you take you time off for this baby. And if your b/f works and is willing then just follow your heart. Just remember that god will never put you through something so terribly that you cant handle. And if you try over & over again & you cant seem to get pregnant then know the lord just doesnt feel its your time.
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A
female
reader, I wnt Aniyah +, writes (27 December 2005):
I absolutely know how you feel girl im also 18yrs old dealing with the same problem with my 20yr old b/f. Im willing to put things aside for this.. But my b/f just doesnt want to hear me out on the topic. I even got to the point where I just couldnt be with him anymore. A month & change of us not being together he told me hes willing to give me a baby as long as i get back with him. We did attempt it but I obviously didnt get pregnant. And now hes telling me all over again that hes not ready. Ive become depressed and very unhappy with his choice.. I also have a bunch or friends and family and so does he. His family loves me & his mom even wants me to have a baby, but just not him. Girl if this is something you want & you feel very strong about this then just try it, but @ least finish your 1st or 2nd semester in college so you can almost be done with school when you take you time off for this baby. And if your b/f works and is willing then just follow your heart. Just remember that god will never put you through something so terribly that you cant handle. And if you try over & over again & you cant seem to get pregnant then know the lord just doesnt feel its your time.
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A
female
reader, i no how u feel  +, writes (22 December 2005):
i no how you feel. I was 19 when i feel pregnant with my now 20 month old daughter. My partner of 5 years and i made the decision that we where ready and stable enough. As much as i love my daughter and wouldnt give up for anything i sometimes wish that i had waited until i was older. I miss the freedom of going out with friends when ever i want. My partner and i haven't had a night alone since she was born. Iv also had to go back to work so that we can survive finacially. Its a big decision don't rush into it. i no you want a baby and it all seems so exciting but its not all fun and games. Its hard work. And i doubt that you will go back to uni if you do decide to put uni on hold. just think long and hard before you do anything. Goodluck
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A
male
reader, wierd al +, writes (22 December 2005):
I have heard from a magazine that I read a while ago that some females have many differant urges after they fully mature and it is often a passive thing but it seems that with you it is a strong emotional thing but you can make your hormones stop telling you what to think. In my oppinone you need to wait until you have a stabile job and after law school becuase I think you can be expelled for that but you might wont to check on that at your school.
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female
reader, QOTU +, writes (21 December 2005):
 Hmm... It is VERY wrong to bring a baby up in an environment that's not financially secure. You SHOULD wait until you've finished studying and you have a stable job, and good home. Your boyfriend is right... even though you want a baby (and I understand the gravity of which you yearn for one), you have to keep the other importances of life in mind.
There's PLENTY of time to have kids - just not yet! :-D
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (21 December 2005):
 Dear, you must know that having a baby is a huge responsibility. u have to think alot about this because it wouldnt be fair to your baby to bring it into the world and not able to care for it.
I know u really want this but what u have to think about, is you and your boyfriend's financial situation. are u guys able to provide for this child? Your boyfriend did indicate he needs some stability does that means he hasnt gotten on his feet yet financially?
Again, you mentioned u are in sch now and studying law. it wont be easy for u to continue your program with a baby on its way.have u thought of this and do u think u can cope or give up ur education for a while until you have this child?
The decision is yours really.if u feel you guys are financially bouyant and u can probably halt your studies for awhile then go ahead. but if u know u still arent stable yet then its best to wait which is alot better really. In three years u would have finished your degree and your boyfriend will be alot more stable.U have been willing to wait since u were 13 three more years isnt really that much. i bet u can rememeber the year 2002 like it was yesterday. time flies very fast.
Take care dear and have a merry xmas and new yr.
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A
female
reader, Virginiaac +, writes (21 December 2005):
Put your law study on hold. Talk it over with your boyfriend and tell him what you want. Simple isn't it?
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