A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI started seeing a girl in summer of 07 and we split up last year. We experienced a lot together including our first time etc and we really loved each other. Eventually it all seemed to go horribly wrong because her friends pressured her into not seeing me. She ended up sleeping with other guys. I was devastated and due to other things in my life I went over the edge a bit and had some alcohol abuse problems.I'm with someone else now and we are engaged and I love her very much and want to be with her for the rest of my lire but I'm worried that I am harsh to her because I was so heartbroken before and I am bitter, are there any good ways to deal with this anger because I never want to take it out on her because she makes me so happy.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the already helpful advice, I just want to make it clear that there's nothing physical about my irritability ( I don't smash stuff or hit her on anything horrid like that) I just find that I become very annoyed at tiny things and I find it hard to talk to my fiancé about some of this because I don't want her to get worries that I'm missing my ex or anything
Thanks
A
female
reader, missleprechaun84  +, writes (15 June 2009):
It's time to let go of the past. Your ex made some huge mistakes, probably prompted by peer pressure and the ignorance of youth. You need to put this all where it belongs, in your been there done that basket and move on. Your first relationship will always be a special one, especially since it was also your first sexual one, but that's all it is, your first. You need to treat this like a clean slate. A new chapter in your life filled with new experiences, and new love. Your current girlfriend deserves to be treated like a princess, and if you can't look at her and not see your ex's mistakes then this is one aisle you won't get to march down. Your fiance is a different person, and she deserves to be treated as one. You obviously love her if you're prepared to marry her, but you both need to be allowed to make mistakes without the fear of harsh retribution. She can't be perfect and neither can you. Allow her to make her own individual mistakes, and realize that she will do the same for you. Good luck. I hope you get your happily ever after.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): either f=go to anger management or conselling to wok through your feelings
if you are being harsh you may drive your current girlfriend away, it's not air to take your past out on her
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 June 2009):
 perhaps going to see a counsellor would help you over come this anger you feel towards this other girl.
i mean you don't want too push away the best thing in your life since this other girl who clearly has ruined you.
perhaps speak to someone about your past and help you overcome the anger issues you are feeling before this gets a bit too physical for your liking.
Hope this helps hun.
good luck x x x x x x
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