A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi im 17, nearly 18 and i've been seeing this girl since we were 13, she is the same age as me. recently she has been dropping hints about children. We have been having sex since we were 13, i have always used a condom until she was 16 wen she started using the pill, but since she has started talking about children im worried she is still taking it, but i dnt want 2 use a condom incase she thinks i cant trust her. I dnt think we are ready 4 kids bcos of our age, as u will agree, but i cant tell her this incase we break up as she is the one i will always love, wot should i do?
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female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (30 April 2007):
 Hi dear
I agree with cd206 that you should talk to her. Because you are not ready for children yet, doesn't meen, you don't love her. To love someone is, when you want the best for that person and for me it seems that to have a baby in your age is not the best for you. A baby is a lot of work. It needs a lot of time and costs a lot of money and above all it is a big responsibility. If you two want to have a baby is not just one's decision, it must be the decision of both! Both of you must want it and both of you must feel ready for it! It is not only in her responsibility, it's also in yours! So you really must talk to her about this.
Maybe she just wants ot check how you think about it. So plan a nice evening where you two are on your own and start to talk about it. Ask her, how big this dream of her is. Is this wish very big, so she would do what she can without the consideration of you? In this case you need to be very cautious. This would meen, she is ready to stopp taking the pill without your agreement. In this case you should account
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (30 April 2007):
 You have to tell her and this is why.... you might not want to break up but neither do you want children. If she isn't taking your pill in order to trap you into having kids then she obviously is only thinking of herself and doesn't love you as much as you love her. Talk to her about it, tell her you love her so much and really want kids with her one day but now isn't the time. If you're suspicious she's not taking her pill talk to her about it. It might cause her to get upset if your suspicions are unfounded but it seems to be that's an infinitely better possibility than getting saddled with a baby you don't want at 17. Girls of your age have a very romanticised view of babies that it totally wrong. You don't understand just how much work they are until you have them and by then it's too late.
CD
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