A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:O.K long question, sorry.I am 22yo and have been with my partner since I was 15... We are very much in love, we are best friends, we bought our own house two years ago. To give you the back ground of where my problem started - about 4 years ago we broke up because he told me he liked a new friend of mine who just started at my school, which devastated me, but what devistated me even more what that our friends (and my best girlfriend) took his side and have him the girls number, then hung out with him and I had no friends left....... Anyway he never actually ended up with that girl and in the end we got back together (less the old friends as I no longer trusted them or had any respect for them) When we got back together he had a new best mate, and I started to like him, thought not saying anything at the time, we all became very good friends and about another year later, we moved into a house that this mate inherited! It didn't take long until we started sleeping together... And I say that lightly because this was along time ago and it's all good now. We had strong feelings for each other one night when I got really drunk I couldn't help myself... From then on we would sleep together after my partner went to bed every night, so he figured out what was going on pretty soon, but didn't seem to mind, he actually encouraged me slightly and would bring it up in bed. Eventually we moved out of there into our own flat and we are no longer friends with that guy, which is fine by me as I love my partner and I could see it was huting him at the same time.So anyway, a long time later, while drunk yet again we had his new best mate over and we had a threesome, bought on by the two of them, I didn't start anything but my partner wanted me to so I did and I also quite liked this guy so didn't complain.Is this odd behavoiur? My partner seems to like this yet if it was him doing it I would be in tears...I feel bad but at the same time I like it. His current best mate has just moved in with us, we have been mates for years and he just broke up with his partner of three years, he has been on two dates with my partners sister who is ten years older than us, I get on really well with him and I find myself attracted to him, we are good mates and we cuddled yesterday all day in bed while my partner watched t.v. and didn't even care... I don't know if he likes me back, but I also don't know if I like him with any significance or weather I am just mentally ill because I seem to like a lot of them.... What is wrong with me (p.s. just want to mention that the first guys I think was because of drugs and alcohol where as this guy I have been straight most of the time...) sorry for the long story.
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best friend, broke up, drugs, drunk, got back together, moved in, moved out, threesome Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): I don't think you have much self-worth and possibly use sleeping with men to build up your image of yourself. You have diluted your relationship with your boyfriend into being meaningless. You are all just having sex fun, which I suppose is OK, but the upshot is that you and he are not good long term relationship material any more. The fabric of what you had once, that could have made this possible, has gone. I think you recognise that in each other.
You may like sex but do you actually get real satisfaction from it? This is an example of what happens when people treat sex casually and deny its true meaning. It has become nothing to you. Start again with someone new and try to keep your intimacy with one person. Sex is an expression of intimacy and if you have it with too many people, the people who know will perceive you as not genuine, a bit shallow and good for a lay.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2007): have u ever thought he might not be unnes about you sleepin with other guys because hes got a guilty concience and had slept with someone else or maybe he knows u r young and have been together an awful long tgime. he my want you to have a bit of fun with someone else.. take car anyway sorry if this doesnt help but i hope it does xx
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