A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm dating a man who is 21 years older than me. I am 28, and he is 49. He has a son who is 26 ( he'll be 27 in December ). Does anyone think it's bad that he is dating me, when i am just a bit older than his son?. He doesn't see his son, as he got divorced from his ex wife, who he had his son with, when their son was three years old, and his ex wife wouldn't let him see him after they got divorced. He has seen him a few times since he got older though. He has said that he'd like to have a child with me too, but does anyone think it would be strange if he has a child with someone who is just a bit older than his first child?. We get on really well, but i can't help worrying about that. My parents have a 16 year age gap, although, they are divorced now. They were married for 25 years though. My half brother is also married to someone who is 17 years younger than him. It's just a coincidence that we have all had big age gaps!. My mum isn't much older than my half brothers either!.
View related questions:
divorce, ex-wife, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): I'm 28 as well and I think dating a 49 year old is too much of an age gap. I have many male co-workers that are your boyfriend's age and family members - none are dating women in their 20s. He's had way more life experiences that you. More than 50% of his life is over. At his age, health declines and you'll have to deal health set backs. Instead of enjoying life and living life to the fullest, you'll be witnessing his health issues and taking care of children. An old guy won't be as active as a younger man when it comes to kis, and he definitely won't be living long enough to watch his son/daughter's life for too long.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 April 2012):
 I don't think the age-gap 28-49 is too big, you are both adults and have both had some life experiences.
I do think that it all comes down to how your relationship works, is he a father figure or an equal?
Who calls the shots? Do you have the same values, dreams and hopes?
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 April 2012):
 If you are happy and he's happy then don't worry about it.
I am 52 and my fiance is only 38
my oldest son will be 28 this year...
we actually socialize a lot with my younger son (25) and his 22 yr old girlfriend...
age is often just a number...
my only concern for you dear is at 49 I felt great but now at 52 I have such body aches (see what 3 years can do) that I worry a 49 yr old man becoming a dad will not be as helpful as a younger man.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): Personally, I think a guy that old, who seeks out a women your age is only doing it to feed their ego, to make them still feel like they are that young again....what could you possibly *really* have in common?
What eventually happens has time goes by, the girl gets bored because he doesn't want to go out and party with the friends at bars and such every weekend, doesn't bounce back as quickly from that kind of young lifestyle, finds friends on both sides just don't mesh, don't do the same kind of things, the things we begin to find annoying in our aging parents start to rear their ugly head in this older man, eventually, he can't keep up with you sexually and that becomes a problem...and him having a child at his age makes him having a child in high school when he is close or at retirement and you are still in your prime....This is classic, "mid-life crisis after divorce, rebound, out for anything so as not to be alone, I can prove I still got it" dating.
Ya, I think any kid would be a bit freaked out, embarrassed and disappointed their father was dating someone the same age as themselves....it doesn't go over very well. But since they don't have a relationship anyway, you probably won't have to deal with it.
Oh, and I would stay clear of having a child with this man until you are sure this is real and you have talked about it in great length....he had a child that he didn't see...no matter what excuse he gives, he was passive in demanding and maintaining a relationship with his child...and if you are to split up, I won't say it, the same thing will likely happen....
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (4 April 2012):
 hi
dont worry too much about having his babies just yet .
but theres no reason to think the relationship wouldnt work long term . its got as much chance as any other
...............................
|
