A
female
age
30-35,
*!lemma101
writes:Hey everyone, so my boyfriend and i have been together for about 7 months now...we've been through quite a lot...moving in together due to family issues, Family disputes with his grandmother, pregnancy scares you name it. I'm 19 he's 21, he has plans and goals and a lot of drive which is why i was initially attracted to hm in the first place. Now that we've gotten to know each other fairly well he's started treating me with little respect, he asks me for favors whether it be money related or not i have been there, and when i need something from him he puts up a big fight or kicks up a stink, he also talks to me like i'm worthless and that i don't support him enough when all i do is please him :make his lunch everyday, do the cleaning, and satisfy him in other ways. Recently he told me he doesn't know if he cheated on me...he got too drunk and didn't remember (in his defense it he has a history of blacking out when hes drinking i have witnessed on a couple occasions)what do i do about that? i'm hurt inside but i never show it... We rarely ever have sex because he see's it as a chore...i love him i truly do but i'm feeling worn out and tired of trying anymore...i don't know what to do help me please is my relationship worth saving?
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male
reader, bhtheb  +, writes (11 December 2012):
Sounds like my situation. I don't see how sex can be a chore if he can jack off everyday and watch porn constantly. I'm very good looking with a nice body, and I feel emotionally angry, and hurt a lot. He keeps trying to hide the porn from me too, which I don't see why I'm not stupid or blind. I can tell when I walk in the room and he instantly stops looking at whatever he was looking at on his phone. Then gives me looks and acts like he doesn't want me around. I don't know what to do. It's caused trust issues for me. I know he hasn't cheated on me, but I can't stand people trying to hide shit from me. He's changed his phone lock half a dozen times or more. I don't feel he should have one on their if he has nothing to hide. I don't know anymore.. I care so much about him but I can't keep taking this. On top of all this stuff he has some sort of bipolarness or something. He can flip like a switch on his moods, and it hurts me really bad. He'll tell me he's sorry and that he's crazy and he doesn't mean to hurt me. I don't know how to explain how much it hurts to give so much and feel like you get so little in return. I wish some people would realize how much another person cares about them and treat them with the same respect and love. I know I've went off about other things multiple times in this post. I just needed to let it out.. I don't really have anyone to talk to and it just hurts holding everything in. My heart feels broken, but I don't know anymore.. I feel like I'm not good enough .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): In reading your post I could not work out how you can love this idiot? Ok I know its a feeling and a deep one but hang on you are not living in a prison - you can leave him and even still love him! He is abusing you psychologically and I promise you this will only get worse not better. He does not respect you - so get some self respect yourself and move out. That way you can get some perspective on it. I am sure you will see the situation for what it is if you get out of it first - by staying in it he is just controlling you by keeping you down and feeling worse and worse - you will spiral downwards bit by bit. You are only 19 - please please don't waste your life on this man.
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