A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering whether I made the right decision in changing gynocologists. What do you guys think?I have a polyp. My usual specialist is away, so I booked with another. I'm sitting in the waiting room and a man phones to ask if he can speak to the Dr urgently because his wife's unwell. "Well, the Dr isn't available by phone 24/7 you know!!" The receptionist says, before ending the call and running into the gyno's clinic to rant to her about the phonecall, all in front of me, while my appointment was supposed to be 15 minutes ago.Anyway, eventually I go in. I'm then interrogated by the gyno with every question under the sun. Yes, I know questions on your sex life are relevant for a gyno, but she had to know everything.. my life story. It felt overkill for a polyp. It was only a consult.. but then she says she'll dilate my cervix to look for the polyp now if I consent. I hesitated for 10 seconds and suggested maybe I schedule another time (I had walked to my appt and wasn't sure what state I might be in afterwards). She then says, "I'm booked out for months! I have another patient waiting outside. I don't have all day for you to make up your mind!!" I consent and get into the stirrups to start it and she says, "Some people pass out from this, but I think people are just over dramatic, if you ask me."So the procedure went OK. I trembled but it seemed to be some kind of auto response from my body. She was happy I didn't have any violent reaction. SHE ended the appt thinking it all went great. I WENT home thinking about her arrogant demeanor and it just disgusted me. What are your thoughts? I have asked to see my regular gyno again. You never spend long in an appt with him but he's professional and would never talk like that. What are your thoughts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2023): Many gynos are totally self employed. They do not have a boss. They often have lots of private patients and they are each individual cases. They are very popular and busy. They cannot sit there chatting to you for ages about your options and discussing with you whether you want this or that. That is precious time to them, they want you to move on so they can see the next patient. Or would you prefer that you pay them two or three times what you pay for a lot more time? To them time is money and they have a huge queue. If they spend ages with someone someone else waits a lot longer and they earn a lot less.
Imagine if you got a taxi and you asked the taxi driver to take you on the scenic long winded route to your destination. He would charge you a lot more.
Educate yourself about whatever before you go to see them.
Don't expect them to do it for you while you are there.
That is what google is for.
Nowadays if you go into hospital with gyno issues they dont send a therapist around to show you exercises after an operation - because that means more staff and a much higher bill for wages and having to charge you a lot more. They give you a piece of paper to read.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2023): You and only you have to be happy with your choice and how you feel. Nobody here has met either of these people so you must go by your own judgment but remember whether they are rude or polite, nice or horrible, helpful or a hindrance, they are all qualified and have trained for years. My own consultant last year advised me to have an operation. I asked her if there would be problems with my hormones after having my ovaries and womb removed and she told me no way could this happen as once you are past forty two years of age you no longer have any estrogen anyway, because of the menopause. She was wrong. If I could prove she told me this I would have sued her for malpractice but I had no proof but had to let it go. I had over a year of very bad effects from suddenly having very little in the way of hormones and my body no longer being able to produce it, had to go on hrt, had bad effects from that, then bad effects from the medicine to help with that, a real struggle. I had to go on massage doses of vitamin b to get better and it took some time. None of the doctors or nurses I had dealt with had thought of it over twelve months. So whoever you see, whether they are polite or abrupt remember they are not infallible, they make mistakes, they do not know everything.I've been misdiagnosed three times by mature consultants re three different illnesses. I knew they were wrong and proved it. So I now don't care whether they are polite or abrupt, I go by how accurate and helpful they are. And I educated myself on whatever is going on with me so that I can pick up if they make a mistake here and there hopefully before it is too late. If you are wise and able to give good advice about relationships, love, loneliness etc. Join me at one of my websites askagonyauntsadviceonline.com where you can get well paid for your advice, advising people all over the World as a true professional. It is how I earn my living.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2023): This reminds me of something which my cleaning lady told me years ago. She was a person with not much of a formal education, but very sharp and quick-witted.
She was undergong some sort of exam or procedure at an Ob/Gyn's , and finding it uncomfortable or perhaps even painful, she was sort of squirming a little. The doctor, annoyed and very brusque, told her " Hey, cut it out and lay still , I need to have a look in here ! " . And she said " Sure , have a good , long look. Because that's the very last time that you're gonna see it , and the last time you're gonna see my money as well ! ".
Yes, you did the right thing. In fact, you have been a bit shy, because IMO the moment she said " I haven't got all day to let you make up your mind "- * that * was the moment to just take the door and go. A patient in a doctor's office is not different from a client in any other business establishment, like a hotel or restaurant or store : his /her satisfaction is paramount. And, if we do not want to say that the customer is always right ...I think we all can at least agree that he/she must always be treated with courtesy and respect.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (30 August 2023):
 She sounds like a bit of a loose cannon and totally unprofessional. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, it is your gut instinct trying to protect you and telling you to get out of there. You know what you need to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2023): Never EVER go back to that "doctor". You should report her for pressuring you into doing something that could have been potentially painfull and harmful procedure. I'm sure that the price of your consult went up because of that procedure.
SOem doctors do that for money and some for money and the power they ave over their patients. Shameful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2023): OP here, Honeypie, my regular gyn was away & my polyp is growing, & I'm afraid of leaving it too long, hence why I consented. I just thought leaving till the last minute to suggest a procedure was nuts.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 August 2023):
 Go back to your regular Gyno.
Doesn't sound like a very professional clinic.
I will say this though, you could have said no when she suggested she dialte you to check it out. And then booked on with your regular gyno. You don't OWE her to check you out if you do not feel comfortable with her.
And while I get you felt pressured, YOU are in charge of what YOU want to do. And She probably DID have a patient waiting.
So many doctors have really bad "bedside manners" or "patient care" and are only focused on the procedure, not the patient.
So, go back to your regular one and don't feel bad.
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