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female
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anonymous
writes: I was texting a guy for 6 months because he wanted to get to know me before meeting, we have a few mutual friends. Then I started dating a guy I had known for a few years and after 3 weeks he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever and it was all too intense, but at the same time he wants to spend a lot of time alone with his friends and is still friends with his ex-girlfriends. Then the guy I was texting spontaneously asked to visit and we clicked and started hanging out. I told him I was seeing someone - he seems to know a few girls with boyfriends who also have a soft spot for him, so I'm wondering if he enjoys the flattery while still maintaining his singledom. As for the other guy - his actions don't really match what he says. So in a nutshell - what do I do? I don't even know what they other guy wants and when I told him I enjoy spending time with him but feel like I'm doing something wrong he doesn't really say anything, although on a few occasions he has said he finds me attractive and has told our mutual friends that I am nice.
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (29 August 2006):
 3 weeks does sound soon for this intesity but it does happen. It's just going to boil down to who you like the most and what you want. It almost sounds like you're hedging your bets and thinking if you pick the texter he may not actually want a relationship and you'll have lost the other guy. Texter has showed interest, is taking his time, paid compliments, told his freinds he likes you so I'm not sure why you think this isn't enough? Maybe it's taking too long? It all sounds to me like it's been slow tiny steps in the right direction. It's a far cry from "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you" in 3 weeks. They seem extreme opposites and maybe what YOU want is someone who's somewhere in the middle. Maybe neither one is the right guy for you.
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