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I'm with my first ever boyfriend and can't help wondering what else is out there

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok....

Im 25 and have been with my boyf nearly 5 yrs - before him I havent been out with anyone. Our relationship is good, he makes me laugh, I find him attractive. He does annoy me at times because he can be really headstrong and likes to wind people up. Thing is I dont know if Ive become too comfortable. Because Ive never been out with anyone else I dont know what else is out there and if I might be happier. I know if we split up Id be scared to never find anyone like him or lose him completely but on the other hand I feel an overwhelming urge to get out there and meet guys before its too late. If I stay with him will I just resent him in the end or will these feelings of wanting to be single and have fun just pass? Its got to the point where I cry on my own about it because I feel so confused - am I being really selfish??

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A female reader, TaylorChu United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

TaylorChu agony auntIf you have no desire to marry him then go find someone who you do want to marry. Dating and being in a relationship in its purest form is to find someone to marry not keep someone for entertainment. If he isnt all you think about or can see the future with him down the road then bail! Dont waste your youth on a person you cant connect with on a spiritual, physical and mental level.

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A male reader, PhilManco United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

PhilManco agony auntI was in virtually the same situation when I was around 23 years old. I had dated one girl consistently through college (my first real g/f) and, as we neared the five year mark, I really began to wonder about what else might be out there. I can only speak from my experience as a guy, but for me those feelings of wanting to be single and have fun never passed. I decided that it was better to end the relationship than take it further and then feel those kinds of longings as a married man.

Unfortunately, I jumped right back into another serious relationship and then another one and so, to date, I've never had a "single, fun" phase. It's seriously the biggest regret of my life.

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A female reader, culeca United States +, writes (25 July 2007):

culeca agony auntfirst u need to ask urself if u really want to be with him...ive had boyfriends come and go since i was 16 until i met "the one" at 18...we lasted 13 years only because i found that i felt similar to what ur feeling and for other various reasons so i ended it it wasnt easy i do have to admit that at times i regret it and find myself missing him thinking abot the "what ifs" i am currently in another relationship thats been going on for 2 yrs now and sometimes i feel like i didnt give myself enough time to heal let alone experience the things i let go to do....so think really hard and if ur positives out weigh the negatives then maybe u should leave things as they are....just a little insight....but really the choice is urs....some people have lasted years and years being together with their first bf/gf....maybe u sould talk to him and find out if u are in any of his future plans then take it from there....good luck!

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