A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right here it go's, sorry if its long!Im 16, a model for elite modelling, and ive always been lucky in life, my life has always been very comfortable money wise and ive never had to worry about anything. Im considered very good looking and have never been unlucky with the men! I fell in love around 8 months ago and i also lost my virginty to my boyfriend and vice versa. so now im finding myself looking for something bad to happen in my life and its getting me into a emotional wreck.I feel as if i love my boyfriend too much for my own good and then i work myself into a state that hes going to cheat or go off me and finish with me all the time and theres no reason for me too think that. We see each other usually everyday whether its for an hour or five. We get on really well and even though we have our arguements they just make us stronger. Heres some back ground detail.Weve been together for 8 months and at the start of the relationship (around 2 months in) i found out he had been doing weed behind my back, when he had said to me he wouldnt like me to smoke cigerettes as it upset him, ( i only smoked one or two every couple of months when i had a drink with the girls!) but i stopped for him, so when i found out he had been smoking weed behind my back obviously i was upset, it made me feel as if it was one rule for him and another one for me. We had a huge arguement ( we were both drunk )and ended up splitting up. That night after we had split up i went and kissed another boy, i completley regret it, even though i was single it was something that i never should of done. I told my boyfriend straight away and we worked it out and got back together the next day. Around 4 months into our relationship i found out that my boyfriend had been texting another girl, telling her that he liked her and wanted to be with her but couldnt finish with me. I confronted him and he admitted it, but said that him and his mate has decided to both text her and see what she said and that it ment nothing. I was distraught, it really hit me hard as we were all loved up and i didnt have any clue whatsoever. He also denied telling her that he didnt want to be with me, and still to this day he is denying that she was texting him. Me and my boyfriend talked this over and i said that i didnt think i wanted to be with him any more, my boyfriend turned his back away from me and cried, and not just a few tears he cried his eyes out and thats when all my anger i had towards him suddenly went, seeing him crying telling me he loved me just made me see how much he regretted it. ( my boyfriend also has the image of a "hard boy" and to this day im the only person to ever see him cry) Now we are fine he deleted her number and we moved on, we are very much in love BUT i cant help but think that im too happy, and that my life is going to well ( got my modelling career, met my boyfriend passed all my gcse's having nothing lower than a B!) Im just waiting for something bad to happen and its agonising. Im crying my eyes out because i dont want my relatioship with my boyfriend to end, even though i no he doesnt want it to end at all and everythings okay. Is there something wrong with me? Why cant i just enjoy my life and be happy? Why do i always have to find a bad side?! please help thankyou xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sxcjess +, writes (27 November 2008):
No offence but to me your life doesnt seem so "perfect". to me you seem to have some issues with yourself wich are causing you to feel this way about your boyfriend however his behaviour is definetly not helping you to feel you can trust him. In my opinion i think you should break up with him as by the sounds of it he is either cheating on you or thinking about it..
hope everything works out for you
xxxx
A
female
reader, Lib1  +, writes (14 September 2008):
 Congratulations with your modeling. My ex's sister was a model in vogue, for calvin klien and what not she did really well until she decided she no longer wanted to be a part of it. Now, in your case this might be something you want to do for a few more years. And this boyfriend for one does not sound like someone should want to have around either. This sounds like an unhealthy relationship situation. You're still young so this issue with the on again off again boyfriend is right on schedule. Just make sure you learn from his tricks and this unstable experience so that when and I mean WHEN then ends you can move on to a better choice in boyfriend.You can do better but only if you want better. This guy makes you look like a fool if he can flirt with girls (and you have hard evidence) and you accept it and "move on". Just make sure you treat yourself right and that everyone else treats you right. Make your standards higher than they are right now. This is the time for you to do so. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): I think that your more worried about your boyfreind leaving than having a bad day. You forgave him, so you need to move on and stop worrying that something will happen. Life is all about taking the good with the bad, no one is happy all the time and life is never perfect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): Dear Poster
You are one very fortunate young lady.You have lots to be grateful for. Embrace life and the joy and happiness you are experiencing. Do not allow FEAR of what can and what may destroy that for you.
The mind is very powerful and it is important that you concentrate on being positive.Do not draw negative energy to you with negative thoughts.
Get out there and enjoy and value all the good things you have.
Whenever a negative thought enters your mind or some fears; consciously change your thoughts and start thinking about all the good things.
Don't cry, next time when you want to cry; think of my words: "don't cry, (be happy) and keep SMILING"!
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (14 September 2008):
 Life is unfair, good fortune and bad fortune are not evenly distributed. Strangely it can feel uncomfortable to be on the right end of that deal, as if you are undeserving. Be optimistic, don't go looking for trouble, let trouble bounce off you when it comes and always remember that the lucky have an obligation to help those who have been less fortunate.
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A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (14 September 2008):
 Its a natural to think things like that when everything seems so hunky dory, However if you continue with this things will go wrong because you will simply get so stressed and paronoid about it that you will be convinced that he is cheating on you or that something isnt quite right.
I know people say take one day at a time and it does work. Maybe you could try writing a diary or something that then puts it into words and outta your mind for the time being. Try to concentrate on the things you enjoy.
Im sure you both love each other very much but do remember taht you are only young and it seems that this may have ben the first actual relationship that you have had and it makes it even more becasue of it been sexual.
You are young and you may or may not have other partners, no one but yourself will know that.
You need to ask yourself what you see wrong and then address it from there.
Hope things work out, relax and enjoy life.
Peaches
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