A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy a year ago and we’ve sort of been in and out of each other’s lives since. He’s struggled with his feelings and knowing what he wants, I finally thought we were in the same place but he completely backed off, saying that his heart and head wants to be with me but his gut instinct is saying it’s not right.He originally asked me to block him as I cared about him and he didn’t want to hurt me or give me false hope. However we decided not to block each other, since then he deleted me off Snapchat, the place he’d usually send drunken massages, however he sent me a drunk message last night after not talking for 3 weeks. Why delete me if he’s still going to message? He’s got my number! I asked him this and he said he was smashed! I know he’s not bad deep down but I feel like an idiot waiting for a guy who clearly doesn’t want me. I can’t bring myself to delete him out of my life but he’s made it clear he’s not going to change his mind.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (18 December 2018):
 He is who he is. He isn't going to change any time soon. Just do it. Delete and block. Get it done, then it's done. It's hard, but you will forget and 6 months will have gone by. Just move on with your life and take him at his word that it's not right.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 December 2018):
 I'm with N91.. WHY waste any more time on this guy? In case he "changes" his mind? (or gut, rather)
OP, the REASON he texted you drunk was because he KNOW you would answer. He just wanted attention, ANY attention... Not because he CARES about you. If he doesn't want to talk to you sober, the reason he texted you drunk is because he clearly don't give a crap about you.
STOP holding on to someone who DOESN'T want to be with you, BLOCK delete and move on. OR you can waste your time pining after a guy who doesn't want you. All the while missing out on ALL the opportunities of guys who WOULD love to date you.
HE isn't STRUGGLING with his feelings, OP. HE just don't SEE you as a potential GF. It's not that complicated as you make it out to be. If in a year the ONLY conclusion he can get to is that his GUT tells him it won't work, then that is because he doesn't FEEL that way about you on a deeper level.
LET him go, SET YOURSELF free - Free to find someone who WANTS to be with you, and you in turn wants to be with too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2018): I had this with one or two men when I was younger, they seemed to like to keep me on a piece of string. Last time it happened twenty odd years ago he was seeing other women and not comitting to a relationship with me and I let this silliness go on as well aaaggh.
He is stringing you along, if he wanted to be with you really he wouldn't mess you around.
Stop wasting your time on him because believe you me you won't be the only one he is doing this to
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (17 December 2018):
 Okay so you’ve wasted a year on a guy who uses you for an ego stroke. Are you going to waste more?
When someone tells you that their ‘gut instinct’ tells you it’s not right, then listen to them. What a dick thing to say. He DOES NOT care about you. If you were going to be together, you would be. If a man wants you to be a partner, he will make it very clear. This guy is not hiding the fact that he doesn’t want anything serious with you but you’re letting him overstay his welcome. This situation is NEVER going anywhere and you’ll be upset over it for as long as you keep speaking to him. A drunken message doesn’t mean a thing, he probably sees you as an option for a booty call when he’s had a drink, nothing more.
Where’s your self value? Don’t you think you deserve to be someone’s top priority as opposed to the bottom of the barrel last resort? You might have feelings for him but he has none for you. Block him and move on, take control of the situation or you’ll be feeling crappy forever.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (17 December 2018):
 What are you actually waiting for? You KNOW he is not going to change his mind. How long do you want to keep hurting like this? You cannot start healing until you make a conscious effort to accept he is not into you and let it go.
New year coming up. Ideal time to make a fresh start. Block him COMPLETELY, start healing and move on. It doesn't matter how YOU feel about HIM if HE doesn't feel the same way. We can't always have what we want in life. When you meet the right person for you, you will understand why things didn't work out with this guy.
Come on. You deserve better.
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