A
female
age
36-40,
*amuella
writes:I'm in a relationship 10 years, things have changed an awful lot recently and I'm very unhappy with my partner. I'm afraid to break up with him in case he is 'the one' and I'm throwing it all away. Please don't tell me to try talk to him about it, talking isn't his thing no matter how bad the problems get.... plz help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): If he is the one, then you would not be having thoughts abour breaking up with him and being unhappy with him. When you know, you know. Trust me on this one. Don't spend too long waiting for a hint or a sign.. go deep within yourself and find the answer there. I've been in the same siuation as you are in now, and if i had stayed with him for wonder of "the one" then i would be absolutely miserable right now, and NEVER would have been with my husband.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): you have dated him for ten years and are still not sure if he's the one? well, if you are still unsure after a decade, then i don't think he is the one. i don't really think there is only one person for people, but i do think that if you are not confident in a relationship that has lasted this long, then there is a problem there. there are always going to be problems in a relationship, and sometimes the relationship can with stand the major changes, sometimes not.if your guy is doing something he should not be doing, if he is cheating, is sitting around the house doing nothing, or hitting you, then you need to leave him. but if you think you can work through the problem, then give it the old college try. 10 years is a lot of work to put in a relationship to then just throw it away over a few troubles.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 What happens if he is not "the ONE" and "the one" is wandering around lost for the past 10 years?
I think if you are unhappy and can't talk to him about it, it is very unlikely that he is the one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Communication is the foundation of any relationship - without it, how else are you supposed to find common ground?. If you can't talk to someone that you've been with for ten years about what is making you unhappy, then is it possible that he isn't "the one?"
What you have with him is only for you to decide, as well as how valuable it might be.
Never fear the unlimited potential of change for yourself, especially when you're in a relationship that isn't fully satisfying to you. If you can't get him to see that you are unhappy with the current state of things, and get him to open up to you about finding a solution, then how will your problems go anywhere else but under the rug?
If he won't communicate, show him the alternative...permanant silence and solitude on your part.
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