A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ever since I was a small child I have been extremely slim. I have always looked slim! I have always been made fun out of because of this, people used to call me (and still do) twiggy, skinny, flat, a LINE (!), even a STICK. I always used to ask my mother why I was like this, she used to say it was because she used to be slim (if not even skinnier than me) and also her mother used to be slim as well. Ever since I was in primary school children used to say hurtful things, I remember when i was 11 and i liked this boy that loads of other kids in my class liked (he was also my age) , i remember my friend must have told him that I liked him, and i heard him saying "if i had sex with her she'll probably break". At that age! I have always had small virtually NO breasts and hardly any bum, i have always had thin arms and long thin legs. I started to get vaginal discharge at 11; and i started my period a few months after i turned 12. I have been 18 for over 5 months and I am like the skinniest girl in my family (my mum has put on quite a bit of weight after having me and now has a curvy figure, and she has only given birth to 1 child which is me) and I am from a Pakistani background and Pakistani people love their food and curry, I try and eat as much as I can but i never put on weight - as i have an extremely fast metabolism. All my cousins my age and even younger are curvy and have some fat on them! they look at me with pity and sympathy, like they feel so sorry for me. I feel like I am nothing but bone. I have friends who are as slim as me but have breasts, whether they are a B or a C but at least they have something! I am 5 ft 3 and a 30AA in bra size, even then I have to wear a padded bra. Without a padded bra I look EVEN MORE flat chested. I have no meat on me, ok i have a tiny tiny bit on my stomach but thats about it! I have skinny legs, obviously because i am SKINNY but i hate it sooo much.. I have friends who say they want to lose weight (although they dont really need to) they are well endowed and say they want to be slim and girls that are slim are lucky, but even they say they wouldnt want to be as slim as me, I weigh 41.3 pounds! I feel like i am just a flat stick with no figure, I wish i could be curvy and have a proper body with curves like women should have, even now at the age of 18 people say things to me like they call me twiggy, and that i look like a stick my friends say they are joking but even i know that they are not... I want to have normal sized breasts and hips and I hate my figure i am crying as im typing this i look like a little boy in terms of my figure, thats why i havent had a proper boyfriend................ even when my best friend goes 2 meet up with a boy and his friend and when i come along they always have to make some kind of comment about the way my figure looks, they have to say something about i how i have a flat ass and no tits and i feel so unwomanly, i try my hardest to put on weight (which never happens) but i wish i could put on weight because then maybe some fat could be deposited in my breasts, I CANT EVEN PUT WEIGHT ON MY ARMS! im an asian gurl and in 2 years i will be looking to get married, whos going to marry a twig? ok people say gurls who are slim look good in clothes who may be true for most people, i am a size 6-8 in tops and size 6-8 in jeans/trousers depending on the material and the company, but i am asian and asian people like to wear saris and traditional indian dress, i cant even wear a sari because im so skinny and everyone knows you need some curves to look good in a sari, even when i wear a traditional asian suit (consisting of a long tunic and trousers) i look like a flat chested stick, i hate looking at myself naked when i come out of the shower i have to put a towel on before i can look at myself in the mirror, in our culture it is good to look curvy and womanly if ur a woman, i am from london but when i go to pakistan they are surprised at how skinny i am, girls that live there are kinda slim because pakistan is a developing country and they think that just because youre from london you should be meaty and plump, i remember my mums grandad holding my twig of an arm and saying to me that i look like those thin ill people you see in hospital, i felt like crap. i really like this guy who ive got to know (met him about 4-5 months ago) and hes like my ideal guy, hes from the same country as i am, the same race, the same religion, hes going to start at oxford university in a few weeks time, hes got a good personality, hes perfect in terms of marriage material and for the first time i feel like ive met a really good one, plus hes a religious Muslim and i know my family would love him, i dont know for certain if he likes me but we seem to 'click' and my friends think that hes attracted to me, he kinda flirts wid me in a less obvious way he cant really do it blatantly cause hes a religious muslim and in our religion they dont really do things like that, i kinda think that hes attracted to me too but im not sure, but a few days ago we were talking about how we would want our spouses to look like and he said that he wants a curvy wife, he said forget being too thin or too fat, he wants his wife to have meat in the right places (obviously thats what a guy would want), then he said to me "you know guys look for a woman with wide hips because they have the potential for child birth" and i just felt like total utter crap, im skinny, flat chested, i barely have a waist or hips for that matter, i have a flat bum (my friends say its because my bodys in proportion which makes me feel worse), okay people say i have a pretty face, big brown eyes with long eyelashes, nice hair, watever - but i hate my body so much, everyone i meet has to make some kind of comment about it, even people i dont even know, for e.g my friend told me that her dad thinks i look so skinny, like what the hell? i hate my chest, i feel so unwomanly and i feel so deformed, i feel like whatever guy i marry me will only marry me because hes desperate and cant get no one else, i dont even think he'll love me or find me sexually attractive, i look bad in my traditional clothes let alone normal tops and jeans, i cant even find jeans to fit my skinny waist, even my dad shouted at me and told me to move my skinny butt out of his house!!! i hate myself and i cant stop crying, i cant stop thinking about it, i feel so bad for hating myself i cant help it, i feel so shrivelled and undesirable. i dont know what to do, i dont think ill marry that guy because he'll probably find a curvy pretty gurl with gorgeous curves and nice breasts, a nice bum and curvy hips who looks like a WOMAN. why would he wanna marry a pathetic depressed thin FLAT skinny stick like me, plz help me, i feel so sick whenever i think about myself, im sorry if ive wasted your time by saying this but this is only a small bit of how i feel. Alya.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): I know what your going through. im 13 and im skinny! i wiegh 98 pounds which is nothing! people call me stick legs and string bean. i just want my legs and arms to be bigger, i love my curves! i am a 32b which is not bad. Be thankful we look good in swim suits! most people are afriad to swim becuse of thier figure. I have friends who are dying to lose wieght but they havnt changed in 4 years. My other friends have the perfect body, its not fair. WHY ARE WE SO SKINNY AND THEY ARE NOT???????I know what your going through and we are not alone!Hope i helped
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): i know how you feel for a 16 old boy i'm not all that buff
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): heya!
first of all, being skinny isnt a big deal!
not skinny girls anyway!
i know i wouldnt want a lump on my lap!
im a skinny guy!
ive always been bullied about it, but i seem to have crap loads of girls after me :s
been called ugly for years, but if i was the kind of guy to go for any girl that comes along, id have gotten more girls then those guys that bullied me could ever have dreamt of!
my girlfriend is rly skinny, she hates it! shes not "disguestingly skinny" not in my eyes anyway, more like a model figure!
now.. heres the thing, get your butt on youtube, check out those catwalk models! are they big?
hell no! curvy? hell no!
why are your friends pointing out those things? why are guys pointing out those things?
girls because theyre jealous!
guys cos they wanna seem cool in front of the other "chicks"
it bothered me for years my skinny body! frail frame as ppl would say!
but! im nearly as strong as a friend of mine whose been working out for 4 years, and is way bigger then me! hugely muscular compared to me!
ive been working out about 3 months now!
and im able to lift heavy weights.. this is where somthing comes in tho..
I discovered i was skinny and always depressed because of a disorder called hyperglicemia, which means my body deposits sugars and glucose at rapid rates and creates alot of adrenaline, so to solve this, you need to eat more complex carbs and heathier foods! fats and proteins arre great foods!
stack em on! but! id suggest lifting light weights, being a girl its cool to lift like.. 5kg dumbells and do push ups!
that tummy of yours, get doing stomach crunches! tone it more! be proud of it :D
another thing, what kind of clothing do you wear?
do you try to conceal your "skinny body" or do you show it off? we're treated by how we percieve ourselves, thinking in that manner, ive ended up wearing skimpy shirts, showing off im skinny!
the people that say skinny is gross are concealing personal insecurities!
and if you try to wear baggy clothing to hide your body, then people can see your insecure of it, and will mention it!
plus, tight clothing on girls looks hot anyway!
my girlfriend is skinny, i wouldnt have her no other way!
shes working out just cos im working out, i told her she rly doesnt have to do that! but she wants her tummy flatter :s lol!!!! its flat as is! but she eats alot, so im cool with it!
be proud of yourself! no matter what you look like, how you feel, look in that mirror and thank yourself for being born! be proud of yourself!
when i feel down, i look in the mirror, and tense up, i then think, well, ive nearly got an 8 pack, i may be skinny, and not be big built, but im very strong, and at least im not obese ;) and chances are, the worst im gonna get on the obese side is average!
tons of girls love skinny, tons of guys love skinny!
show it off, love yoruself, be proud of it!
dress modest of course, but confidently! show off your best features!
youve got skinny long legs! my ex used to dream of that! she had short legs, but liked that they were skinny, so she used to wear high heels to make them look longer!
tip? wear a miniskirt, high heels, and show them off!
then as you feel uncomfortable with your chest, wear somthing long sleeved! somthing to make up for what your showering of your legs!
never imo show off to much skin! :)
i rly hope you get proud of yourself soon and that everyones advice has helped you! be confident and love yourself, then the men will follow!
(when i was a kid, i dressed terribly cos i hated myself, noone liked me it felt like, i then gained self respect, didnt give a shit about what anyone else thinks, brought the clothes i wanted to wear, now it feels like im invinsible! whenever i walk these streets theres always a bloke looking at me in envy and a girl looking at me in approval! just cos im confident and know who i am! not cos im hot, or anything special! and remember, facial features and personality are the bigges tthings!!)
best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): I feel escstly the same, my mom always tell me theres nout wrong with your figure and how she used to be like me when she was younger but thinner.
Im 14 years old, 5'7 and 8 and 1/2 stone.
I had a boy say to me once why are you gonna wear skinny jeans to show off your anorexic apppearance. I said im not im nattually skiiny, he replied with sad so you cant improve. This comment hurt me so much i cried for hours and hours.
I do eat loads and by the end of the day my tummy is bloated and the next morning its gone. I HATE IT
i dont even wear dresses or skirts because it will show my STICK LEGS
hopefully by time im an adult i will put on wieght because othere wise i have NO CONFiDENCE. i HAT BY BODY. WHY CANT I BE CURVY.
Your not the only one there are many other girls like us to. xxxx
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A
female
reader, xXcookiesXx +, writes (19 March 2010):
OMG I HAVE THE SAME STORY, when i was a child i used to be called the same thing and it bothers me so much. i like this guy but i totally doubt that he will like me back, a skinny girl who doesnt even have breasts yet doesnt deserve that guy...anyways i now notice that most people dont focus on your physical body they focus on who you are, only idiotic jerks would focus on your breasts, butt etc. Cheer up man!! being skinny is way better than being fat, i'm facing the same problem as you, you want to get atleast a little fatter right? WELL IGNORE THAT FACT, YOUR A BEAUTIFUL GODDESS THAT CAN SPREAD HER WINGS WHEN EVER SHE WANTS, WITHOUT BEING CALLED SKINNY, TWIG OR W.E!!!!if someone calls you skinny just ignore them, THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL BODY THAT YOU HAVE. i bet deep inside they're dying for your body! now every girl grows breasts when their body feels it's the right time, you'll eventually have them trust me, and it's time to move on to another guy that accually likes you for WHO YOU ARE! Now adays you cant rly find a guy like that but i know you'll find him, u just gotta wait for your prince charming to rescue you ;Phope it helped!!
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A
female
reader, Meenaz +, writes (21 September 2009):
Hey alya, hi m meenaz from india and 17 yrs old, my story is exactly same as urs. I feel the same but i am not as depressed as u, even i like u have got hell lot of comments and most of the time my name was "STRAIGHT or STICK" i felt bad many times but i used to mock those ppl back by saying i dont care i have two eyes, two ears, etc etc. i am still this skinny m tall abt 5'9" and weigh 42 kilos. i do have a bf who dosnt care abt how i look but yes he tells me grow a lil fat... i feel bad many times but i wear nice kool looking western and indian clothes which make me look good and i get good comments like i have good choices and that m looking very good.. so alya i would say u too can shut those mouths by wearing better clothes so nice vibrant colours and dont show ur deprssed version to them, try being confident even tho ur not u gotta act thats the way u can stand tall... I hav a good face but not a better body, i wont say i have a Bad body or am not a woman. i think the ppl around us make us feel so. i enjoy partying and wen i go out my frnds tease me but i jus laugh it out even though i know how badly its hurting me inside.. so Alya i think i good positive behaviour to all the sarcasm u get and wearing the best clothes not good clothes i mean real best clothes, and showing ur confidence shuts ppl mouths to a better extent, u knw i am so happy to meet someone who is exactly like me. i would really like to be in touch with u.. If u too wouls like to be a frnds with someone who will not mock u but share a lot of same stuff and sadness mail me on [email address blocked] ..u can add me on messengr too.. it was nice to know u alya. tkcr.. Khuda hafiz !
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A
female
reader, Aliaa +, writes (22 June 2009):
Hi Alya :) Why don't you read my name? We have the same name! And in 2007 (and all years before that) i was in the same position as you... I was 5"6 and 45Kg... I was very flat-chested... I always wore a B very padded bra and stuffed it to create a fake breast! I am also muslim... And I know that in our countries a voluptuous woman is way more appreciated than models... Back then the most famous celebrities in my country were known for having huge breasts and round hips etc... I always felt like i am not a woman like them. I also felt that my parents didn't take me seriously enough and treated me like a kid because i looked like a kid! I was not anorexic. In fact, I ate more than my friends and they always wondered how i can stay so skinny... they were all eating less than me and trying to lose weight...
There was a guy I liked... he was very charming (great conversationalist, great personality, and nice light hazel eyes). He clearly told me that he was not attracted to me and that he likes girls with more curves and who are healthy. I heard this from him when i was in the peak of being in love! He was in fact very unattracted to me, and it felt very very bad.
I went for an internship that summer, and i had very low self confidence from being rejected from the person who was my bestfriend and my one-side lover for a whole year. I met someone else, that guy loved me a lot despite my weight! I took off my padded bras etc and he saw the real flat me, and he was still crazy about me and i am not exaggerating... I did not know that someone could love me so much. We had to separate and we didn't know if we will meet again...
I had depression after that (for many reasons which r out of context), and for some reason i took it out on the food. I ate so much and slept so much (as an escape mechanism)... and in 1 year i went from 45 kg to 60kg. For you this might sound as good news... For me it wasn't!!! The new body i had didn't seem like me!!! I felt weird in it and started dieting... it reached 57 but it seemed too stubborn to change (just like my 45 was stubborn before). 2 years after being 45kg and the depression etc... I am actually struggling with my weight. It went as high as 67Kg and now it is 60Kg again and I think this is how it is going to be for a long time (60).... but i have grown to like it because i have more curves... and when i work out and get toned, it looks good.... a lot of people (especially those who were used to me being skinnier) think i am too full now! And keep telling me to diet! But I feel good in my weight... I think 58-60 is nice. I have a bit of a tummy... Skinny jeans don't look good on me... but there r other things that look great.... and the guy i met in the internship: i met him again! we have been together for a year now in the same grad school! it seemed like a miracle that we would meet again like that... and he likes me in my new weight also... i tell him i want to diet and he says: whatever weight makes u happy... i liked u when everyone thought u were skinny and flat chested and i liked u at 67Kg with the belly rolls.... just please urself and i will be happy... and it is true i didn't notice changes in his attraction level to me...
My advice to you:
1st go to a doctor and make sure the reason for ur thinness is not medical (hyperthyroid, intestine parasites or whatever that is, some hormone imbalance etc)... maybe there is a medical reason and u can cure it with medicine... if not, then u r normal... people do come in different shapes and sizes... the doctor may recommend a special diet for u if he thinks ur low weight is unhealthy...
Some foods that made me gain weight are: papa john's pizza... in an extra large pizza each slice is more than 500 calories... if u eat 4 slices in a day, u r already taking a fattening diet for ur size! u can eat more for faster results. this might be a quick weight gain method, but it is unhealthy because it has too much fat.... but i guess at ur weight u r already low on fat and if done temporarily this diet will help... ideally u want to eat balanced meals with a lot of proteins to build muscle and work out to have a healthy heart etc...
One diet i suggest for u:
breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs or omlette with cheddar cheese... tastes amazing and pretty fattening...
lunch: papa john's pizza... at least 2 to 3 slices from an extra large
dinner: salad and some pakistani food with curry :)
dessert: snickers or ur favorite chocolate
Do not make too drastic changes, and by all means don't stay on this high fat high calorie diet for too long...
I also promise u that ur weight will increase later in ur life....
I also want you to have some self-esteem... i am sure there are positive things about ur body... u have a small waist that everyone is wishing for... u have lean legs that also people r wishing for... and u have a beautiful face :) long lashes r btw very very attractive. Think of those parts!
Now that i gained weight, yes i have bigger boobs (still modest... 34B/C) and i have bigger butt and a nicer hourglass figure.... but i also have more cellulite, i have more belly fat and love handles that i need to hide with some clothes, a lot of clothing styles don't fit me because of my hips since fashion is made mainly for skinny people... etc..... at any point in time, everyone has something good and something bad... its nice to think of the good parts instead of constantly changing and pushing and being dissatisfied... some weight gain will help u, but it won't be the end of all problems :) even models who have amazing bodies, their pics r always photoshopped for bigger cleavage etc... even they, who people consider perfect, r not perfect enough... so just dwell on ur strengths... and let me know what happens :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): I read your story an i kina know how you feel i am very tall and i am well what u call thick on the bottom lol but as for up top im a stick an it's ackward cause i feel my body doesent match. My arms are skinny an My neck is long an I hate it but im gna tell u somethng........ You have to just deal with it. I know it sucks but you knw wat u are who u are and that honestly is the truth. Ya u could eat more or exercise or get breast implants and but implants yadyada yada yada but it will never end. Plus if u think about it when i typed in I am getting skinny everything that popped up said diet diet diet or good your losing those pounds. ha ha not exactly wat i was lookn for. Oh one more thing. The person u marry shoulden't marry u for your body but for you an anyone who thnks diff well they will soon find out. Oh i drink carnation drinks to to make me feel like im gain some weight doesn change me dramaticlally but wat the heck........
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): you dont know how many curvy people would kill for your slim figure! look in fashion magazines at posters up everywhere and adds all the models are stick thin like you and heaps of guys love slim girls- not slim anorexic-like girls that hardly eat anything but naturally slim girls like you! in fact its pretty shallow for guys to go for skinny girls but the sad thing for average sized girls and bigger girls is that most guys go for skinny girls.
its pretty in now to have a petite gf
slimness is considered sexy now you should be so grateful and happy you are naturally slim!
ive always been slim with a flat stomach and small hips and about the same sizes as you "5 ft 3 and a 30AA in bra size" and brown eyes and dark hair and skin and i get heaps of guys telling me they love me and stuff and gota awesome bf
youll get one too the only reason you havent got one yet is your attitude. that seriously needs to change!
you must stop kidding yourself that you are ugly and flat and a stick of course you arent flat and a stick that would be impossible! wake up and realise that you are slim and beautiful and probably the envy of curvy girls everywhere. trust me bigger girls probably go home and cry after they see your beautiful natural slimness while you feel bad because you saw their beautiful curves. its stupid and you shouldnt feel bad about your body because you are beautiful and slim!
:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): Hey i am exactly the same i know how hard it is. I am 5'4 and i weigh 38kg which is nothing, i hate it when people automatically think i am anorexic, i definately am not. My freinds are consatntly saying i'm really thin. I also have 30AA breasts which i dont think are too bad. And if you think about it many people would die to have your figure, there are so many people and celebrities that diet to have a body like yours. I still havn't started my period and i'm 15 and i'm scared its becuase of my weight but theres nothing i can do about it but continue eating the amount i do. Look at least you know your healthy and think again about HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD LOVE YOUR FIGURE and we dont have to work for it like many people.xxxxx
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A
female
reader, LaydeeOfSorrows +, writes (23 November 2008):
Ohh and if people say another rude comment about your body, say something rude back to them..."your nose is huge"
"Dont you ever stop eating?" etc....then they'll think twice before insulting you!
xxxxx
PLEASE UPDATE
or email me, i know what your going through
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A
female
reader, LaydeeOfSorrows +, writes (23 November 2008):
41 pounds?
So your 18 kgs!!! thats not possible, I think you mean 41 kgs! hehe.
There is nothing wrong with being slim, I'm 5'7 and 110 pounds (49 kgs)
And I love it!!
Your only eighteen, maybe you'll have a growth spurt?
Just don't get down about your figure, im sure lots of guys think your hot!
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A
female
reader, JohuraK5 +, writes (22 November 2008):
I knw how you feel. Im 15, 5ft 3 and i wighr abou 6stones 10 pounds. Jus recently ive put on a bit of weight. but i luk da sme. ive been eating and eating, yet i stil feel hungry and put on nothing.
This eid all my mates are wearing sarees. i dont want to be the odd one out. but y if i luk bad. my breast size is 32b..so im hopin it wnt luk 2 bad, espcialy with a padded bra.
anyway enough about me.
the best thing to do is wear clthes that flatter your best features.
coz ure skinny.. if you wore and ovesized top with a belt it would look really good.
and sumtymz you shud feel lukcy. ppl cnt evn eat good food coz der wried about der figure. atleast we can munch all day long..
contact me if you wana tlk mor.
hpe i helped.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): Ok heres the deal. I am also verry skinny and have no ass or boobs, but its ok because we'll get through this u just need to tell all those people that mock u to shut the heck up and leave u alone. I really don't like those kinds of people because the just don't know what its like. I am in middle school and trust me its a lot worse there than in the general public and stuff. I have a lot of friends though believe it or not that actually respect the fact that i am skinny. They no not to mess with me about it cuz i am really senseitive too. All my friends are really curvy and they r only in MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! I know a girl that wears a C! I know i'll never be like her but at least i can fit into some pant sizes. You should try double zeros they work for me. I am so confused because all the girls in my skewl are so developed and started there periods and i just haven't done any of that. I don't know where i get it from either...cuz i mean my mom is really curvy and my dad is not fat but regular. The only person i can think of that is kinda thin in my whole family is my Aunt. My dad says that i'm a lot like her in a lot of ways. Trust me i got some issues with the boys too. I also have really pretty brown eyes and long lashes and gorgeous hair....but i would trade that for a body...now this might sound silly but i pray to god (you can pray to whoever you want i'm not tryin to be rasist or anything) every night and tell him that all i want is a nice body but i really don't think that it will happen. I have twiggy legs too and no matter wat i do they won't gain muscle, i even rode my bike like every day for 2 months and like nothin happened...i have this one kid at my school who said that i have chicken legs and he wouldn't stop so i told the teacher and he stoped callin me chicken legs and started callin me TURKEY LEGS! i was like oh my gosh wat in the world! i am a 30 A in bra's and just barely i also have to wear a padded bra to bump it up...still no cleavage and nothin major....i really don't like my body and i would give anything pretty about me to have one. But we just have to stay strong and live life to the fullest, blocking out all the rude comments that some rude people say.....i hope this has made you feel less alone~30 A~
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A
female
reader, EvieA +, writes (23 August 2008):
dont EVER say you hate yourself.
you are who you are and you have to apreciate it, because thats how god chose you to be. beauty is on the inside, and if any man doesnt love you becasue of what you look like to hell with them! Just forget about it and move on because u are probably a strong girl inside.
hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): If you are 5' 3" tall and only 41 pounds, I think you'd be dead. But anyways, your metabolism WILL slow down. I used to be real thin in high school, men made comments about my flat ass (although I always had big boobs) and now I am 27 with 2 kids and weigh 60 pounds more than I did in high school. Which for me is not a good thing! I used to be able to eat ANYTHING and everything I wanted, one time I ate at 3 different fast-food places for 1 meal (not kidding) but after age 18, my metabolism slowed and hasn't stopped. having kids will totally slow it even more. What you could do is go to the doctor & have your thyroid checked for hyper thyroid. If you have hyper thyroid, there is medication you can take to regulate it & you will gain weight. best of luck..I hope one day you can look back and think "I was sure lucky to be so thin and to be able to eat whatever I wanted" I know I feel that way now.
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A
female
reader, xLovex +, writes (23 August 2008):
HiiHaving read this post I was thinking your my twin!I am in the exact same position - my mum was naturally skinny when she was younger but as she grew up her matabolism slowed down and now she has a curvy figure. However my dad thinks I'm anarexic and constantly calls me anarexic which really upsets me. As if it's not enough that I'm self concious about it already! My old friends always pointed out how skinny I was in front of some one I liked all the time and they made my life hell. They always said how skinny I was and how I make them look bigger which made me relise that because I was skinny it made them feel bigger than they already felt they were (their not even big anyway!) So I felt that friends are always supposed to be there to make you feel better soo I left them for good and I have never felt better. My new friends are always making me feel postive about myself and helps me to forget about what my dad says. Leeving my old friends was the best thing I could ever do for myself because I know feel more confident in myself which has shwon in my results at school. I was getting C's and now I'm getting A's and A*'s. I looked in magazines and yes most of them are skinny and have "the look" but in reality I felt the clothes did not suit me or my personality. What I do is wear skinny jeans with a top that flares out - so it doesnt draw too much attention to my stomach being soo small. Apparently when you reach around 25 your metabolism will slow down and you will begin to loose weight so I'm hoping for that time to come but in the mean time I'm going to take the Doctor's advise (My dad took me to the Doctor's becuase he was concerned about my health and how I wanted "the look" loool. I was almost laughing my head off because the doctor thought he was crazy for thinking I don't eat when I was eating a pack of sweets the hole time!) But my doctor says it's loads of people have it and that don't think about eating more food quantity wise but think of the amount of calories you eat and what makes you gain weight in foods. (Saturated fats and stuff) but you have to be really caredul that your blood pressure is still in check!Sorry about this going on and on but all I would advise is:1. Leave your friends - no one needs friends that don't support you2. Remember that while skinny people want to be curvy, curvey people want to be skinny.3. Never let it show that there comments trouble you. If your friends say your so skinny then comment on something that they feel paranoid about and I'm certain they will stop in a flash.4. COnfidence outshines anything you look like. Confidence is what any guy looks for in a girl and if you have confidence you don't need anything else.If you want to talk you can mail me xxxx keep posted
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reader, doe44 +, writes (23 August 2008):
Well you belong to one that only likes skinny looking girls. Take your time and wait for him instead of trying to belong.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): I know exactly how you feel because I have always been thin my whole life up until now. I am 22 years old .. going on 23 and am also asian. During my childhood years, I was a very ill child and battled Lymphoma for more than 18 years. The treatments surely did take a toll on my growth and no matter how much I ate ... I can not put on any weight. I too, get teased a lot by everyone and it does hurt. I just wanted to respond to let you know that you are not alone at all. There are many thin people out there who would like to gain weight. Not all thin people have eating disorders. Many people don't realize that. Have you tried working out? You won't gain weight, but you will put on some muscles. And or try consulting with a dietitian. He or she would be able to further assist you on the right things to eat. I currently am, but it hasn't been long enough to see any progress.Next time, any guy teases you .. tell them that they aren't any big down there either. *Hugs*- Kay.Kay
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reader, pursuit of happiness +, writes (23 August 2008):
I think you should revel in being thin. I suspect you are surrounded by overweight people who are desperately jealous of your slimness and so try to bring down your self confidence to their level.
As a guy I prefer women to be healthy, this means (by British standards) someone who is slim. Obviously if they are anorexic and literally look like a skeleton this is unattractive too, but I am sure you don't look like this, in your wildest imagination.
Don't worry about your breast size, it only matters to very shallow guys. Many women do not have large breasts, and if you think about it from an evolutionary perspective, why would you want large breasts until you have children anyway.
In my experience even women with the smallest breasts find they grow breasts when they have a baby.
Make the most of your legs instead - many guys will find these more attractive then breasts.
I suspect that many guys who your family knows would not say publicly that they like slim women for fear of upsetting all your other female relatives, and they think it is okay to make fun of slimness because they assume slim girls will really be very confident with their weight. Secretly they probably really want a slim girl and so may go for you.
Finally watch out because most people can put on weight as they get older. I have a British Pakistani friend, she was very slim at 17, but by 30 she was 130kg+ and it made her life miserable and she can't have children till she loses weight. The point is, if you do start to put weight, make sure you don't over do it, or you will be even more miserable the other way!
Where a Bikini as often as you can while you can, I'm sure you will attract a nice guy!
Just relax! Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): The only thing I can possibly think of whenever I read situations like yours, is of a friend who had a breast removed for medical reasons. And how unhappy she was, and understandably. Something is something, and it definitely isn't nothing. Deformed you say? Please!!!
Be glad with what you have woman and work on what it truly is important.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): im jealous
i would love a skinny figure
im 15 and have a curvy one and i absolutely hate my stomach, i never wear bikinis and always feel self concious about my figure and it makes shopping annoying coz even though i like my boobs being a size 32DD its proper annoying coz there are so many tops and dresses i cant wear, and bras are expensive!
there will always be things about your body that yu dont like
x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): Dear Poster
Having read your posting, the first thing that came to my mind was: "jealousy";
You have received excellent advice from the previous aunts; I just want to add, do not allow these "nasty" people to upset you, to affect you;
Lift your chin high, be yourself; you must not allow these people with there comments to "chip' at your self confidence or self esteem;
Be yourself; love yourself and accept yourself;make peace with your BODY!
When somebody loves you it will not be the body BUT the person;
I was very skinny at one stage in my life; had to buy clothes at the kiddies department; yeah, people can make nasty remarks; but laught them off; find ways to dress, to hide your are skinny and take advantage of it, where and when necessary.
Be yourself, love yourself and enjoy your health!
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
PERSONALITY, girl....that is what you must concentrate on
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reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 August 2008):
If people are saying horrible things to you then say "well you are ugly but I can put on weight." Or just point out that it was a really hurtful thing to say. Put them on the spot by pointing out they are a horrible person.
It's not a reflection on you, it's a reflection on them being ugly on the inside. You are beautiful on both inside and outside.
Look at Keira Knightly, she is really thin, but people think she is beautiful. Look at the way she wears her clothes and how she holds herself. It's more about having confidence in your body than anything else.
Yes men look for wide hips because in caveman days that showed we were less likely to die in childbirth. But modern men don't want a woman to be a baby making machine as soon as the wedding night is over. Talk to your Oxford uni guy about what you would like to do in terms of career / travelling or anything else. Impress him by showing him what a capable wife and wonderful interesting companion you are going to be to someone. He has to live with you and talk to you for the next 80 years, not just lock you in the kitchen and wait for the kids to arrive.
Show them that you are beautiful and have an amazing personality and fantastic dreams and ambitions. And if they are insulting then point out that they are not being nice, and that it shows you are better than that.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, Artistry +, writes (23 August 2008):
Hi there, Just remember, people are also attracted to how you a0re on the inside, are you a good person, are you kind, do you try to help others, These are all things that make up who you are. Now, if you want to gain, weight, this has been my downfall, as I do this, and I don't need the extra weight. Make sure you eat three times a day, and make sure you have fiber in your diet and protein. Then, after your three meals a day, have a snack at bedtime, not heavy, wait at least one-half hour before going to bed, to start the digestion process, then go to bed. If you continue to do this at night, you will find that you will gain weight. Do keep in touch and let us know your progress, very important to not lie down immediately, wait, so that the food starts to digest in your stomach, but this should do the trick, but please remember, work on your intangibles, such as kindness, and being nice to others around you. Take care always. Here come the pounds. p.s. In addition, you want someone to love you for who you are, not what you look like, that is superficial, supposed you are curvey and you get sick and lose all your curves, will that person suddenly not love you. So to me, it's the whole package, but more who you are inside that counts the most.
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reader, minnie1234 +, writes (23 August 2008):
aww dont be too hard on yourself. its not good for you. im very skinny myself. im ur age. im a size 4 in jeans, n im a 32AA. i hav 2 wear a paddded bra too! but its ok to be skinny. i try to wear clothes that dont make me look as skinny and wear baggy jeans. not too baggy. the ones in river island are good. it shows off my hips n bum even though i dnt have it. a lot of idiots always take the piss out of me that im skinny. i mean ive never had a boyfriend and im 18. even like curling your hair puts a bit of weight on you. makes me look a bit less skinny. so there are ways of making yourself look better. but dnt b too hard on yourself. any guy would be lucky to have u. your're a princess and expect nothing less from life than to be treated like one. always remember that you're beautiful jus the way you are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): Oh honey, I know how you must be feeling. But let me tell you that so many people would DIE for your figure - you know how much the media go on about thin being beautiful. So many girls envy you.
Think about this, you never have rolls of fat anywhere, or any chub, you dont have to worry about looking fat in anything, you can wear whatever you want (and eat whatever you want) and look good, and wear all sorts of clothes that curvy people can't wear. I accept what you said about wearing traditional Indian clothing like saris, but in most high-street shops like Topshop the clothes were absolutely MADE for you. They are all designed with the waif-like figure in mind.
And some men adore your kind of figure. They can pick you up easuly and you can sit on their lap without being heavy! :)
You are thin and elegant and graceful. Never forget it! Smile at yourself in the mirror.
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