A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my best friend who is a guy says he has feelings for me. weve been friends for 8 months and we talk and txt all the time. we enjoy each other's company. when he said that he has feelings for me, i thort it would ruin our friendship because his ex is my good friend. (their relationship is on and off) i cant look at her anymore. he told her that he has feelings for me and shes really upset and i feel like she will hate me for talkin to him too much. (we use to have late night talks) He says that he cant be a friend to me anymore. but i feel really to close to him and i begged him not to keep his distance. ( i cant believe i did that) He said it wont be the same anymore. but i really like him as i friend and i dont want him to think that i cant live without him ( and that im desperate) because i really care about him and my heart goes out to him. i love him as a friend.i cried to him because i didnt want him to leave. he said that he didnt realise that some1 cared for him so much.
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female
reader, doe44  +, writes (23 August 2008):
Too much drama. Stop talking to both of them for a while. Stop playing soap opera. Get yourself another friend and another man. it is never wise to scratch your friend for a boy because always the boy will dump you. He sound sweet because you have not rolled in the hay with him yet. Unlike most girl, you seem to be somebody with great integrity. go girl.. the less you give them the more they love you anyway. keep up the good work. tell your friend I am distancing myself from both of you because i think that it is disrespecful of him to target you knowing that you are her friend.
good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou, he talks really differently to me now. like he hates me. i said that its hard talkin to him like this because its not the same as it used to be. we used to talk til 6am. we can talk for hours about anything. he said tht if i find it hard then i shudnt talk to him. it hurts wen he says that because i really want to talk to him. i dnt knw if im being too clingy. but jus losing someone like that it just hurts really bad. the thing is, he is the type of person that loves attention. and i give it to him. because i want to. so he feels like he is a good person because he feels like hes not. ones we dnt talk, we will never talk. that is why i dnt want to risk it. i said that we can give our friendship ago. he said that if we are, then he's scared his feeling mite come back and he doesnt want tht. he loves his ex aswell. i cnt do tht to his ex. she is close to me but not that close. we dnt talk much. i jus knw her. to be honest, i think i like him 2. he even asked me, 'if u care bout me so much, how do u knw tht u dnt like me urself?' i sed tht i dnt feel the same way. i can never tell him even if im sure. deep down, i want things to go further, i really, really do. he means so much to me. but i jus cant :(
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 August 2008):
If he has feelings for you then it is going to kill him to be around you and have to keep them inside.
You have to let him have some distance and get over you so you can stay friends. That would also show his ex and your female friend that you have no intention of stealing him away and it will save your friendship with her too.
I know it's hard when you are close to someone but you have to let him go for a while.
Good Luck!! xx
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